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Tracy's HackMoor Campaign 2015/08/18
This time we had a Canadian Bacon and Pineapple pizza, without the pineapple.

Games are on Tuesdays sometime around 5:30PM at World's Best Comics, 9714 Warwick Blvd Newport News, Virginia 23601.



(a.k.a. The Endless Tunnel)

Last session we left the Party with a clue passed on by a rock with a Magic Mouth spell saying: "Those who would enter Dis must crawl!"

The party, following their clue proceeded on their hands and knees for about 100 yards and nothing.

The party, continuing proceeded on their hands and knees for another 100 yards and nothing.

Numrendir seeking further information decided to cast two Phantom Steed spells for him and his sidekick Tujef and decided to ride on ahead for 8 hours.

After some calculation (I was way off during the session but relative distance still applies). Numrendir's speed on the steed was at a rate of 32, meaning 320 yards per minute or 10.91 miles an hour. Riding for eight hours got him 87.27 miles down the tunnel.

The Party on the other hand, stayed on their hands and knees and crawled. During the session I had said that was a movement rate of 1 meaning 10 yards per minute. But now I realize that didn't make sense so I'll up it to two seconds a yard meaning 30 yards in a minute. (Could you crawl on your hands and knees 30 yards in one minute? Probably.) That made it 1.02 miles per hour so in 8 hours the party crawled 8.18 miles.

Meanwhile back to Numrendir and Tujef, they rode for six more hours for 65.15 miles then paused to rememorize his spells for two hours then rest for four more. This meant a grand total of 152.72 traveled miles down a straight tunnel. 

The party meanwhile had gone eight more hours for another 8.18 miles (total now 16.36) and then also rested for four.

At this point he decided leave his transmitter coin against the wall of the tunnel and ride back to the party.

Meanwhile the rest of the party crawled on.

It may now occur to you this resembles a classic math problem of how far two objects travel towards each other at different speeds where the solution is where they meet. Starting at 136.36 miles apart, if the party simply stayed still, Numrendir and Tujef would simply rejoin the party in twelve and a half hours. Unfortunately the rest of the party kept crawling and I have to calculate this. 

Erm ... both sides travelled 11.45 hours to meet at the 28.04 mile mark from where they started at the talking boulder plus 200 yards.

Numrendir and Tujef then rode back to the entrance where they started (nearly a three hour ride) and tested the hole where the Hellspider attacked from. Nothing.

Then he went to the back side of the double doors they came through and pushed. Nothing.

Then he went back to the talking boulder and crawled behind it, both ways. Nothing. 

Then Numrendir and Tujef tried rolling the talking rock aside to find a secret entrance. Nothing.

Numrendir and Tujef then rode back to where the Party was waiting (at the 28.04 mile mark) and gave up. He even tried crawling while on the back of his Phantasmal Steed during the trip. Still nothing.

The party finally realized they were enroute to nowhere and I also reminded the Elefus' knees had more callouses than Monica Lewinsky in her heyday.

Elefus decided to cast an Augury spell to get some guidance from his Gawd Heimdall, Guardian of the Rainbow Bridge. Noting he was in Hell while he cast it, he was moderately successful. His first question to Heimdall was "Were we crawling in the right direction?"

"No" came the the answer.

An Imp appeared next to Elefus and attacked with its poisonous tail. It missed, Elefus and Huang struck back in sequence, Huang killing it.

The next question Elefus asked was, "Should we have crawled back to the entrance?"

"Unfortunately for you, yes." was the answer.

Then an Ice Devil appeared and attacked Elefus furiously. During the fight they were enjoined by Huang, Honda. Even Twitch and Tujef tried to get involved. On the Devil's side he gated in two more Bone Devils and one of the Bone Devils gated in another Bone Devil. The Party gave the greater amount of damage however, one of the Bone Devils teleported out before it could be killed. Honda killed one Bone Devil and Huang killed another and the Ice Devil.

Elefus decided not to ask his Gawd any more questions.

The remainder of the party on the other hand make a regular walk back to the entrance (about seven and a half hours).

Numrendir rode back to retrieve his coin. (Yes that would be another 28 hours, not including any rest periods.) 

Meanwhile the party rested and self healed without spells. Elefus attempted to repair his armor and failed.

When Numrendir returned, he crawled towards the entrance from whence the Party arrived in this interminable tunnel.

The party watched as Numrendir disappeared in a glow of grey-green light and disappeared. So they followed suit.

They reappeared on the side of a mountain with a view that seemed like forever. They could see a mountain range ringing the vast city of Dis that was dominated by a gray parapet encrusted tower that rose above the city into the smoky green sky. (For the record it is supposed to be 999 miles tall.) The tower also seemed to constantly melt and rearrange itself. At the base of the mountain of their current perch they could see a white cobblestone path that led toward the city.

On their way down, they met one green and three red Devils chowing down on the carcass of some humanoid and were greeted by "Welcome to Dis! Papers please?"

They all held up their Green Cards.

"Enjoy your stay! You'll get to the city quicker if you stay on the path."

Numrendir, once again cast his spell for a couple of Phantasmal Steeds for him and Tujef. As he was riding along, the party (on the path) passed him by. Yes he was moving, but apparently he wasn't getting any closer to the city. Dismounting, he joined the rest of the party.

They eventually came upon hot iron pillars that were simliar to tree trunks. At first they were spread out widely but as they got closer to the city they became more numerous. So much so they could begin to feel the heat while on the white cobblestone path. (Yes the path was paved with skulls but the party took no notice.)

They were hailed by a man in rags sitting on one of the shorter pillars. "Greetings my friends. Can we finalize the deal we made while you were on the first plane?" (If you recall dear reader, the last time they spoke with this guy he was invisible.)

"Deal what deal?" said Elefus. (The Player wasn't present that session and it seemed incredulous to his Lawful Good Cleric the Party would make a deal with one of the denizens of Hell.)

"Never mind, Elefus, you just keep walking."

So it was agreed they would "steal" the Holy Avenger Sword from Dispater's Tower. To cement the deal he provided the party with what he called a magical "Flower of Holes". Once inside Dispater's Tower you can peel off a petal of the flower and create a hole to move from room to room. He reiterated his prize offer of a ruby the size of a Malephant's head. He said he would make sure he would get them out of the Tower once they had the sword. Lastly he offered them clue for getting to the Tower and then getting inside. "To get to the Tower it is easy - If you can see in the dark, or think in it." "To get into the Tower it only depends on what you believe in, really."

Out of character, Elefus' Player was visibly upset of course. First for making a pact with a denizen of Hell, secondly for agreeing to a theft on a Lawful Plane (even though it was a Lawful Evil Plane).






Count Elefus, Human Male Abbot
Sir Huang - Superior Master Monk of the Stone Tiger Order
Dame Honda - Human Datai Samurai
Numrendir - Human Ensorceler 
Twitch - Human Treasure Hunter
Gargoyle - Elefus's sidekick.

Slade Wilson - Dwarven Professional (it was determined the party left him behind at Boggy Bottom. He will be considered "Retired")

Junkbot Jackson - Tracker/Adept
Gerry Castagere, Human Fingersmith, and ever loving devotee of Elefus
Fundisha - Half-Elf Swordsperson
Sir Weasel, Human Guild Soldier, Enchanter, & Champion (Stayed behind in Blackmoor).
Nine Pilgrim Henchmen of various levels. (Left back in Blackmoor with Weasel.)





This missive is also posted on two forums and one blog:
Tracy Johnson



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