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Tracy's HackMoor Campaign 2015/09/15
This time we had a Sausage pizza.

Games are on Tuesdays sometime around 5:30PM at World's Best Comics, 9714 Warwick Blvd Newport News, Virginia 23601.



One item left out of the last missive was the name the party had chosen, they decided to call themselves "The Umbrella Corporation".

The Party's first customers were a set of eight 5 foot tall red humanoid with bits of flame appearing here and there along rough spots on their skin each with a gratuitious set of horns on their foreheads. They asked them to do an inventory of their product. The "product" consisting of approximately 1500 souls that needed counting and a quality determination.

Elefus, the Party's Marketing Director and CEO's first response was to say "We don't do Quality Control, only Inventory."

"Not to worry." one of the creatures said, "It is part of the counting process. Once you have weighed the soul in the balances, you know whether the soul qualifies or is found wanting. All you need to do is add one to the success or fail column whether or not the soul meets the standards of Hell." 

"But we don't have scales." The Elefus replied.

"Not to worry, we provide all the necessary equipment." Said the creature. "Deal?"

"There is the matter of price."  said Elefus.

(At which point the I interjected as GM:  "... for what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?")

"One silver piece per soul and an extra copper piece for qualified souls."  replied the creature.


"See you there in 30 minutes.  Just down the street and turn right, you can't miss it."

Meanwhile Numrendir gets the bright idea that they need paper, ink, and pens to do the job (despite being told the customer would provide all equipment).  With Elefus' blessing and told not to overdo it, he goes into the open market and find "Hell's Stationery and Teaching Supplies" and makes the following purchase:  30 sheets of ledger vellum at 7 silver apiece, 2 bottles of Daemon ichor at 50 silver each, and 3 Broad Diakk quills at 10 silver each for a grand total of 340 silver.  Numrendir handed off a 50 gold piece gem and had the audacity to ask for proper change.

Elefus stayed behind with his Gargoyle sidekick as he decided the party should man the booth "24/7" as it were.  (Since there are no days nor weeks in Hell the idea of "24/7" is a clock's movement.)  When Numrendir returned they followed the directions to the letter and went on their way.

While they were gone Elefus was approached by a male and a female Elf inquiring about the character Twitch. The pair mentioned Twitch had sold them a ship back in Blackmoor but didn't deliver. They were even given a tour.   They were told Twitch wasn't there and to come back later.  The Elves advised them they'd wait at one of the nearby hotels.

The company's crew arrived at "Ye Dismal Counting House of Lost Souls" and began the task.  There were three pits, one of which was filled with undeveloped gooey sticky larvae.  (Not the fully formed 4 foot long larvae from the Hacklopaedia of Beasts but instead mere 5 to 10 inch ones in size, newly harvested evil souls from their death.)

They were told to weigh each soul in the scales provided, the sensor in each telling them whether it qualified for Hell.  Then they were to place each "approved" larvae in one empty pit and to put the "rejects" in another.  Since they were condemned in any case, there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.  (In order to avoid the teeth, those who did not have armored gloves were issued a pair for the duration of the job.)

After just a few short hours the souls were counted.  There was an 8 percent negative variance in larvae counted, so instead of the original 1500 estimated souls, there were only 1380.  966 qualified and 414 failed.  So the party was earned 1380 silver and 966 copper pieces.

The party noticed the "approved" larvae were placed in a cart and taken out of town for further development and training, while the rejects were placed in a cart and taken to the city's central tower.  (The Tower of Dis.)

When the crew arrived back at the booth there was a puff of smoke nearby and shortly thereafter the 2 Elves returned and demanded the party hand over Twitch for the recompense they were going to exact from him.  Elefus, not disagreeing with the pair's claim, countered that he would hand over Twitch for anything the pair wanted to do to him for 24 hours AND they had to promise not to hurt him.

"See you then." said the pair.

The couple led Twitch in chains through a door in a small blue box, the door closed then there was this whooshing sound and the box disappeared.

Sometime later, their next customer was a 6 foot tall handsome looking man sporting a leisure suit.  The only notable difference from human was his two horns, pointy tail and forked tongue.   He said, "I have this General Ledger of souls I need you to balance because my quarterly 500 year report is due.  What's your price?" 

"Numrendir was on duty at the booth and said, "We don't balance ledgers, all we do is inventory."

The slick sounding devilish looking man countered, "I can make it worth your while.  I can even grant a Limited Wish."  

Negotiations began.

A deal was struck, Numrendir would not only balance this devil's ledger, but would also make a copy using his Duplicate spell that would last eight hours.  In return, a Limited Wish was granted so that the Holy Avenger sword (the item the party was supposed to steal from the Arch-Devil Dis) would be located in Umbrella Corporation's booth within 24 hours.

Numrendir performed the work within eight hours. 

About the time Twitch was to be returned, the whooshing sound occurred again and two Elves emerged out of the same blue box.  However this time the female Elf was different.  In any case Twitch was returned unharmed, however the gurney he was seemed to be an indicator he was dying of old age.  He breathed his last upon delivery.  The two Elves said, "Well, we didn't hurt him and he is back at the appointed time.  They returned to their blue box and with another whoosh, disappeared.

Shortly thereafter a squad of police devils arrived and placed everyone under arrest and were charged with creating a double set of books for accounting purposes.  

"What about the devil that paid us for it?", the Party asked.

The devils replied, "He was arrested too.  But just like a bookie and his better.  Both are charged."

"But it was Numrendir's transaction!" the Party said.

"And he was acting as a lawful agent of your company.  Do you hold indemnity insurance?  I thought not, the entire company will be charged."

They were told they were being sent to a waiting area in the Tower of Dis to be arraigned.  The were immediately Teleported to a completely endless white area with apparently no walls nor ceiling.  Fortunately for them, the devils made one grave error, in that they were not searched for equipment nor weapons seized.  

The party took out the magic item given to them:  The Flower of Holes.  Its crystal casing immediately melted and the flower bloomed.  There were twelve petals each with a special symbol.

Choosing one symbol carefully.  The party plucked a petal and placed it on the only solid surface they could touch, the floor.  After several seconds a four foot hole appeared.  Two volunteer party members (I forget which) jumped in and disappeared.

(As GM I gave a note to the two players who jumped and told them to wait.)

The rest of the party waited for them to return.

After a few more seconds I told the party the hole was starting to get smaller.

Then they all jumped in.

I then allowed all the players to read the note.  Effectively telling them they all were in a red pulsating chamber with squishy soft walls.  Not finding ought else to do, the party plucked another petal, threw it on the ground and jumped in again.

Next the party found themselves on the middle of a spiral stone staircase.  Above them they could hear the sound of whispers.  Below them they could hear the sound of running water.

To be resumed next week.






Count Elefus, Human Male Abbot
Sir Huang - Superior Master Monk of the Stone Tiger Order
Dame Honda - Human Datai Samurai
Numrendir - Human Ensorceler 
Slade Wilson - Dwarven Professional
Twitch - Human Treasure Hunter - Deceased.
Gargoyle - Elefus's sidekick.

Junkbot Jackson - Tracker/Adept
Gerry Castagere, Human Fingersmith, and ever loving devotee of Elefus
Fundisha - Half-Elf Swordsperson
Sir Weasel, Human Guild Soldier, Enchanter, & Champion (Stayed behind in Blackmoor).
Nine Pilgrim Henchmen of various levels. (Left back in Blackmoor with Weasel.)





This missive is also posted on two forums and one blog:
Tracy Johnson



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