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Shit I've Learned
#1
1) Self-leveling cement isn't
1a) Trying to level more than 25 square feet isn't a one-man job
1b) Sometimes "good enough" isn't
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#2
2) Anything less than a 2" finishing nail is garbage
2a) 2" "bright finish" finishing nails are too thick to not be garbage
2b) Not-garbage 2" finishing nails are worth the cost
2c) You cannot find not-garbage 2" finishing nails, for love or money
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#3
3) Rock gardens are a lot of work to make
3a) Rock gardens are more work to maintain
3b) Rock gardens are even more work to get rid of
3c) Rock gardens are just stupid
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#4
4) Working in 90+ degree heat (33+ C) isn't so bad when all the moisture has gone done to the Gulf Coast for a vacation
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#5
[Image: dry-heat.jpg]
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#6
I remember my trip to Vegas in... August I think (2019). Wasn't so bad when being misted on the court behind the Flamingo and my sweat just evaporated. Then I took a long walk and barely made it back, collapsing a couple times. Never felt so much heat. My body is used to humidity telling me when to work and when not to work. I hate humidity but at least it warns me BEFORE I collapse into a heap.
"Save inches for the bathroom; we're using feet here." ~ Rob Kuntz (2014)

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#7
5) Don't buy a pickup truck if you don't want to spend all your time hauling shit for friends
5a) Even mere acquaintances will ask you to haul shit for them
5b) Don't buy a pickup truck
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#8
6) Watching a dog eat peanut butter never gets old
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#9
7) When the person you're conversing with says, "You know my last girlfriend/boyfriend/partner is ..." is the moment you should realize that you sound like a twat.
7a) If, at this moment, you do not realize that you sound like a twat, it's mostly likely because you are, in fact, a twat.
7b) Whether you are a twat or just sound like one, you should take some time for introspection.
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#10
8) Rake the dog shit into the scoop laterally to your body.
8a) Or away from your body.
8b) Do not hold the scoop in front of your body and rake the dog shit toward you.
8c) Especially when the grass is high and catches on the rake.
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