Ten Foot Pole

By Ben Gibson 
Coldlight Press
5e/Pathfinder/OSE
Levels 4-6

What’s going on in Morpheus’ villa? We’ve not heard anything from them for weeks, outside of the weeping, and the screams, and deep below, some kind of roaring…

This ten page adventure uses a couple of pages to describe a two level villa with about forty rooms in it. Overly terse, it leans hard toward the Vampire Queen style of writing, or perhaps Tegal, than a modern take.

I think I’m missing something here. This is in the OSR section on DriveThru. It’s listed for Pathfinder, 5e, OSE. The cover says “Written for 5e” on it. There’s one set of stat blocks on the back page that seems an awful lot like 5e. Is the assertion here that 5e/Pathfinder/OSE are enough alike that you can just run with it? I don’t  know. I guess? Something feels wrong here. 

This is a two level “villa crawl.” Some dude hasn’t been heard from and you go in to find him/loot the place/whatever. Blah blah blah, there’s monsters that drain your mental stats to represent ”draining emotions.”  The mechanics are simple, you recover a point a day once the big monster is dead and if you reach zero you turn in a monster. Thusly you’ve got former residents and servants now drained of emotions and monsterized and of course the usual assortment of cultists and others looking to cash in one way or another.

Before I hit the encounters let’s talk map. It fucking SUUUUUUCKs. It’s hand drawn on … beige graph paper? The pencil weight vs the weight of the graph paper lines is too similar. You can’t tell where a wall is and where a door is. Level two, the underground, is better, but level one is all “classic gygax” map with thin walls and everything on top of each other. It’s gotta be legible man, that’s always rule number one. Handdrawn can work, but there’s gotta be enough contract that you can tell what is going on. 

The encounter writing style here is terse. VERY terse. Like, twenty entries to a page terse. “Outer Patio – Both doors wedged shut. Gives a numb feeling, cold.” It just feels odd to me. Like, it’s a ten page adventure and two and a half are devoted to the room keys. That’s just odd. It FEELS like there is some artificial constraint going on here here. Like “facing pages” or something else that Gibson is trying to do that is just NOT translating AT ALL. In another place we get the room description of “Smells of rot, corpse of a slave who trapped both doors

in here wearing a lucky band (one-use, reroll failed mental save)” That’s the entirety of the entry, so I’m not quoting things out of context. (And, I don’t see anything in the intro/other keys which this could play off of.) The corpse could use an extra word. The traps two more words. It’s just sparse to the point of almost being barren. “Passing between these glyph-etched columns drains all emotion during the walk (mental damage).” I get it. I get what he’s going for. Kind of. I’d prefer this just be a little longer with a few more adjectives. I think I can make a case, also, for it being ambiguous in its effect. There ARE rules for draining emotion present in the intro. “Several traps, effects, and spells inflict mental damage, dealing 1 point of damage to a random stat (1d3 for INT, WIS, or CHA) “ So, if we take that, then … the door traps are, what, these magic emotional traps? I didn’t really get that vibe from the servant body thing. And, for the glyph pillars I’m kind of stuck on the word “all”, as in “all emotion.” Does it mean all? As in this is a death trap? Maybe I’ll chill with that at level six. Or, is it referring to one point?

And then there’s the Big Bad, The Below. The stat block is just a stat block. There’s no real description anywhere, just a reference to a spirit of earth and darkness in the intro. 

I don’t want to read too much in to the intent, but it FEELS like this is an experiment to write for 5e/Pathfinder/OSE in a way that makes an adventure possible for all three. And then combine that with this kind of very terse style. Theoretically I think both of these are possible. Nothing REQUIRES a mile long state block for Pathfinder. And it’s all D&D based, after all, so with a little work I think you could do the ruleset thing. Similarly, I think you can get away with those very terse descriptions. I mean, fuck me, Stonehell is the king of this shit, but it leveraged a few pages of context for it’s terse keys. I’m also chill with some abstracted away mechanics, which saves TONS of space. “Poison needle trap-1d6” works for me. But it has to be done in a way that keeps that the enables the evocative. You have to WORK those keys, hard (and possible the layout) to stuff in enough vibe to not have this be a half step more than Vampire Queen. A few more descriptive words. Building a vibe in key after key that kind of leverage each other to create something greater than the individual entries. 

If that was going to happen here, if that was the intent, then the keys needed more work. I get that a kind of “basic outline” is a different kind of structure, but I just don’t see that as being as successful in running a game.

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview is five pages and shows the level one map and keys and intro. Good preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/567820/house-of-the-lost-shepherd?1892600

By Marco G. Fossati
Self Published
Dragonbane/OSR
I think this is a BRP system

… hear the tale of Ardana, a mage who defied the Dragon Emperor and vanished with her dark grimoire, The Heart of Ardana. Her ruined tower still stands, touched by strange demonic magic.

This eight page adventure features an old wizards tower and uses four pages to describe eleven rooms on like five floors. Long read-aloud, over-reveals, abstracted treasure. It’s really hard for to describe how “lackof adventure” this is. 

So I’m out with friends and the chick next to me is like “Hey Bryce, where are some places to go to meet people. I want a summer fling.” So I turn to some stranger next to me sitting alone at the next table and am like Hey man, where are some fun places to go in Indy, Chickula is looking to meet men. And he’s like “I’m gay.” Dude, not you, I’m like 30 years older than her, maybe you, as a young fella, know of a place where the the young women might go other than a fucking D&D convention?!  “So he replies: “I know of three jazz clubs …” Dude has missed the point. Oblivious to it all. 

Ok man, let’s GET! IT! On! We are Dragonbaning and I couldn’t be more excited this morning. “At the first light of dawn, in the settlement of Outskirt, the player characters came across a ballad sung by a highly skilled female Bard, named Tymolana.” Oh Jesus h fucking Christ. Fortunately, that’s all there is to this. Except the ballad itself. What do they call that? At the cons? Filcing? Felching? Whatever. It then jumps to “The ancient tower, called The Tower of The Standing Stones, lies at the foot of a hill. The player characters will face a hard journey which lasts at least a full day.” So, you get the “highly filled female bard” sentence, the ballad, and then the whole “it’s a hard journey” sentences. I absolutely thought, given that bard line, we were gonna at least mary sue the chick or at least spend an hour having to deal with some read-aloud, but, no. It just tosses in that “it was a rough journey” thing and you’re at the fucking tower. I don’t understand why any of this is in the adventure. The bard has nothing to do with it. The ballad doesn’t matter. The journey clearly doesn’t matter. And the adventure is like this, time and again. This weirdly specific attention to detail and then, quick, abstract everything!

“A weathered stone tower at the foot of a low hill. Its crown has crumbled and the masonry is cracked and flaking; the whole place looks worn-out. A short run of broad stone steps climbs the slope to a heavy, skewed door. Faint chisel-marks and moss stains can be seen on the lower steps and around the lintel. Windows and fissures reveal that it is a 3-story tower. On the top, some standing stones point to the sky. From time to time, some crackles of purple energy strangely illuminate the surroundings.” Over-reveals in the read-aloud. A read-aloud that is too long. Three stories?! Let’s climb to the top! Windows? We’re in! Never use the front door, kids, when doing & B&E. Does the adventure handle any of this? No, of course not

“A narrow stone corridor with damp, flaking walls. Faded paintings of skeletons line the west wall. One skeleton has an oversized skull with purple eye sockets” Where do YOU think the secret door is? Jesus. Ok, so, when you write a description like this you start at the abstracted layer. There are faded paintings on the walls. As the party asks then you tell them it’s of skeletons and the whole purple eye thing. That’s it. That’s the core fucking mechanic of D&D. The DM describes something and the party responds. Why not just fucking say there’s a secret door behind the purple eyes? Fuck me man. Don’t do this. Please. Don’t write descriptions that over-reveal. Keep the game alive. Keep the core mechanic alive. 

“Treasures: Among the crates and the sacks, the player characters can find treasures equivalent to one treasure card.” I don’t know about you, but I like to show off my treasure cards to the young ladies at the bar. They love that treasure card flash! So, I assume this is some Dragonbane shit, but, still, “treasure card?” The party wants the fabled rose of Amun-Sur or the cape of Verde Tacana, not “a treasure card.” Good treasure makes the party want to keep it and wear it, even if it’s non-magical, instead of melting it down immediately to purchase twelve more torchbearers. Why abstract this? It’s like buying an adventure and opening it to read “Have an adventure” and nothing else. That’s it. That’s a major part of the whole fucking experience. 

And this extends. That fucking ballad, which is like eight short lines long, mentions The hEart f Ardana or some shit like that. A spellbook. You ready for it, the reveal, the object of infinite desire, the thing to which launched a thousand ships, The grimoire called The Heart of Ardana: “Grimoire: The grimoire is the Heart ofArdana. The grimoire is trapped (see below).” That’s it. Nothing else. No more description. Not in the text. Not in an appendix (there are none.) No mention of it or its contents. Shall I compare thee to a Summers Day? “Vecna: Seldom is the name of Vecna spoken except in hushed voice, and never within hearing of strangers, for legends say that the phantom of this once supreme lich still roams the Material Plane. It is certain that when Vecna finally met his doom, one eye and one hand survived. The Eye of Vecna is said to glow in the same manner as that of a feral creature.”

Instead we get backstory. “The demon was conjured by Ardana during the siege as her last defense, but the ritual was interrupted before it was fulfilled. It has been in that state since there and looks to be freed. In order to do so, the ritual lines must be canceled” I DON’T CARE. This nonsense adds nothing to the adventure. And it’s EVERYWHERE. 

This is absolutely one of the most boring adventures I’ve ever seen of everything that actually qualifies as an adventure. And it’s not because there is, like, five bandits in the tower. It’s because of the writing, the mechanics of handling things “Place hands of altar and make a wil save”. It’s weirdly abstracted method of not tellin you ANYTHING about anything to want to know about but still making sure that the room entries are a column long. And that each one has a section about every exit in the room. Except for the ones that DO NOT have a sections about every exit in the room. 

This is boring and inconsistent. 

This is $2 at DriveThru. There is no preview. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/567777/the-tower-of-the-standing-stones?1892600

Also, hey, a question for all the eurotrash: I assume each country in europe has a dominant game, aka that Das Schwarze Auge shit. But Italy seems to be the only country in which we get adventures out of. They just crank them out. Something weird in the Italian water, D&D-heavy, or something else going on? Why don’t I see frenchy adventures?

By Ben Gibson
Coldlight Press
1e
Levels 4-6

Gayle, priestess of the god of earth, has received visions; an annoying enemy of the god stirs up in the mountains. If servants of his temple can kill this enemy for good then the three earth elementals tasked with keeping him buried will serve the party for a month and a day.

This twelve page adventure describes a two level abandoned temple with about thirty rooms. A classic crawl that leans realistic while still not forgetting it’s a D&D adventure. And, not to worry, it’s not a joke adventure

Ye Olde Abandoned Temple Crawle, that’s what we got here. Because of maybe – “Quecho, cheerful llama-herder, pays for drinks for everyone at the caravansary with part of an ancient gold plate, he claims he found it up in the high plateau near a forbidden old valley.” or maybe “The family ancestor skull Qhawa recently woke up and started annoying his descendants, insulting them and telling them to go to the shrine where he once served. His family is desperate to get rid of him and offload him to the adventurers if possible. He knows the way to the shrine but will admit he only worked in the gardens outside of it when arriving there.” Two pretty decent hooks. Nothing more, really, than “you find a treasure map” but in both cases a couple of extra words to bring them to life a little more. Maybe a little Mort in that second example and perhaps implying a tone that is not present in the rest of the adventure, but, still, both of these have enough specificity that a DM can craft something around them. And that’s a good hook.

Once at the site we find some ruins above ground with an obvious hole in to the ground. Down you go! Oh, also, there’s a band of thieves up top who slay your followers, cut your rope, and rob you. Talk about the classics!  

Down below is the two level Shrine of the Cabbage God. It’s a decent mix of traditional D&D elements along with a slight bend to a more realistic temple. One room has “Calendar Chamber: This domed chamber is painted in a yellowing white with black specks for the stars. A raised square platform is in the center; hovering 5ft over the platform is a gleaming golden +1 dagger (worth 3,500gp) with a steel core that points to the constellation currently ascendant “ Hey! Neato! Love a good ol star chamber! Also, that dagger is stuck in the middle of Gelatinous Cube. It told you. The DM told you. It was just suspended there. And you walked right up and tried to grab it anyway, didn’t you? And then half a second too late the light blub clicked on. This is a great encounter. 

In other places there are nice little nods to some Indiana Jones style of traps and challenges. “This stone table holds a pair of golden masks (worth 550gp each), one with a melted face stuck to it. A dead thief, face missing, lies next to the table.” Well, yeah. Nice pairing there. The merlot goes excellently with that Stilton. I’m down.

The adventure is a mix of elements: other looters also trapped by the thieves up top, some vermin like the cube, the usual Avatar and other temply things like blessings and genuflects. “Avatar of Oleracea crouches in slumber, a vaguely humanoid shape built of bolted cabbage, half-covered by pebbles, it’s ears and eyes covered by the stony hands of a rocky statue (a patient earth elemental who only cares about silencing the petty god). Oleracea hears and sees through his avatar if the hands are removed and can give directions/ blessings (see spells) if he’s impressed by his interlocuters, but the avatar itself is wilted and cannot move “ Sounds like my fifth wife. 

It’s a solid little adventure. I do find the writing a bit dry for my tastes. And the paragraph style formatting can get long in places. There is some bolding, underlining, tables, and what not to try to call out important details, but I still think it’s probably over the line of what can be absorbed quickly. Still, a decent little adventure with a wide variety of interactivity to keep things moving, situations to exploit or be exploited by that introduce some dynamism to the play.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $2.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/566390/shrine-of-the-cabbage-god?1892600

By Phil Martin
Self Published
Knave
Level 2

Come for the frogs.  Leave when it all goes to hell. The small hamlet of Roudenbush moulders on the edge of the Great Cheerless Swamp. Built at a crossroads, the town sustains itself on a mix of merchant caravans stopping for provisions, those that seek treasure in the swamp, and the bounty of the swamp itself. Wooden, thatched-roofed residences and stone municipal buildings make up the town. Two weeks ago, a tide of giant frogs breached the town’s outer wall, causing chaos in the streets until they retreated back into the swamp.

This thirteen page adventure uses three pages to describe seven overland locations and a five floor wizard tower. Napkin notes for an adventure, it exemplifies the IF rather than a THEN. 

My brief foray in to products recommended that live in Itch has ended as I am, and no one else, is completely shocked. I find it FASCINATING in what both people seem to be willing to pay for nothing and in what people are willing to publish. For Money.So, some giant frogs showed in a a town int he swamps and rampaged through. I guess you’re going to do something about it for some reason. There’s some abandoned wizards tower in the swamp with a magnifying glass turning frogs giant. That location is called Frogtown. There’s also a wandering knight called Sir Robin Hell. Get it? 

I’m in a foul fucking mood this morning. This thing isn’t help that any.  I’m not going to waste a lot of time on it. Fourteen pages and it manages to put in just a few with encounters in it. This is nothing more than napkin notes. It’s not an adventure. It’s possibilities, rather than specificity. 

What do we mean by this? There is some rather common tendency to be seemingly afraid of outcomes. It is as if the designer is terrified of actually stating something concrete may happen. In this sense it is more like a hex crawl but without the scope of a traditional hex crawl. You come across a village of 100 gnomes living in a mesa. “The hive-mind seeks the return of myconids that have gone missing, believed taken by the lizard folk as food / offerings. Will exchange fly agaric mushrooms from their grove for myconids that are found and returned “ I’m paraphrasing the set up but the outcome is from the adventure. This is classic “giant hex crawl.” But it’s not “overland journey to the adventure site.” In the starting village there are a couple of NPC’s. The are not specific to the adventure, just a list of NPC’s for the most part. One of them is a guy you can hire, Buckingham Craddlethatch. The second floor of the five floor “end site” tower in the swamp reads, in its entirety “Ruined arcane library and alchemical lab. Most of the tomes are mildewed and illegible, but an intact Chaos Spellbook can be found among them. If Buckingham Cragglethatch is with the party, he finds a book bound in human skin. Perusing it, he will suddenly announce that he must leave immediately. “ 

Those two encounters are representative of most of what is going on in this. They are possibilities. They are the “collapsed stairwell to another level of the dungeon that the dm COULD expand upon if they were so inclined.” In a traditional hexcrawl adventure these are the core of the adventure. It’s a wide open area that the party brings themselves to in order to exploit. Contract this to the standard “overland adventure” portion of adventures where to travel to get to an adventuring site. These are instead dangers and Lair, with associated lair treasures. And then contrast these two types of things to the keys found in most adventures. Obstacles and encounters to overcome. Those three encounter types serve much different purposes, influenced by the scope of the adventure and environment. 

The muddling of the streams here results in adventure that is nothing but napkin notes for a small adventure.

No more itch for awhile.

It’s Name Your Price at itch, with a suggested price of $5.

https://daseinphil.itch.io/hell-comes-to-frogtown

By brine Self Published Yarn & Bone/Universal

A mage sits in a cemetery, sipping tea while his diggers excavate Lady Veshra’s grave. He must speak only in rhyme lest his lungs collapse. His murdered wife possesses the living to assist his ritual. The cemetery fights back with sentinel crows and grief wraiths. Veshra’s descendant wants the Soulstone inside the coffin… her last asset. Tonight he joins his true love in life or in death.

These twelve pages describe the idea for an adventure rather than adventure. 

I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I don’t know how I got here. Somehow this made it on to my list. I THINK that means someone had to specifically ask me to review it. I know itch is worse than DriveThru and so I don’t go clam digging there. Maybe while I was drugged up? 

It’s just twelve pages outlining the concept of an idea. A dumb ass mage who has to sip tea is digging up a grave to get some magic thing. There are undead in the cemetery, and a ghost-thing, and some other chick shows up with mercs who wants the same thing the mage is digging for. That’s the outline. And it takes twelve pages to do that.

Look, I’m not saying all of the ideas here are bad. One of the hooks has you showing up, as relatives, to rob the grave. “You arrived early to claim it before your “dear cousin” and her hired thugs “ That’s good writing and a decent hook. Or the local official sending you to deal with some chick who he thinks is batshit crazy who insists her ancestors grave is being robbed. As “hired hands” goes at least its got some life. 

And, thus, some of the framings in this are fine, or more than fine. But it never does anything with them. It’s just a collection of motivations and ideas. Heavy on art and whitespace. I can’t emphasize this enough: this is not an adventure. It is a collection of ideas that one could build an adventure from. 

Whoever asked me to review this must have been trolling. I see that the system, Yarn & Bone, is variously describe as world-first, conversation heavy and solo. Who knows. But it also says its compatible with all RPG systems. In the sense that this is just a collection of ideas, yes, it is certainly compatible, just as the OED is as a roleplaying adventure. 

Gentle reader, why have you not shit in a box and charged $5 for it? 

It’s Name Your Price at itch, with a suggested price of $5.

https://casadeocio.itch.io/the-steep-mage

By Brendan Barnett
Self Published
Generic/Universal
"Lower Levels"

If legends of the Golden Gargoyle are true it could mean infinite wealth for any who possess it. Trouble is, nobody has a clue where to find it.  That is, until a goblin falls out of the sky with a pouch of gold dust and a map to a hidden cave, high in the mountains. What you can make out amongst the blood splatters is very promising.

This forty page adventure uses sixteen pages to describe eight rooms in a low-conflict cave full of goblins. It’s meh, mostly because it uses forty pages to describe eight rooms in a low-conlift cave full of goblins. 

Great looking little pdf. And I assume print book? Nice cover. Pretty little isometric map inside that is itself an art piece, like you might see as a two page special insert in Dragon or Mad Magazine. Nice illustrations and a layout style that looks pretty with its use of word color and boxes and highlights and so forth. And not garish, in spite of its use of pinks and purples. Nice accomplishment there!

Did you want to buy a coffee table book? Cause this is an awfully nice looking coffee table book.

It’s just real hard to take this seriously as an actual adventure given the page count to encounter ratio. Forty pages. Eight rooms. In spreads, of course. What is it that the designer wanted to do? DId they want to write an adventure or did they want to make a great looking book? Room one. This is all of the text on the first page of room one: A large rectangular chamber. In the centre a stone gargoyle statue sits atop a tall pillar with the word ‘umop’ roughly carved into it. The word ‘uado’ is scratched above each of two sealed stone doors to the north and west. The ceiling (30′ up) is covered in spikes. The floor is littered with broken bones. Searching the floor yields 10gp in assorted coins and a silver ring (40gp). It bears the image of a human figure immersed in a river.” There’s some line breaks in there. The second page has open and down in normal and reverse print. Yeah, the words are mirrors and one opens the doors while the other does an anti-gravity. Two fucking pages. Two fucking pages for this. And this is the norm for the adventure. Simple rooms, spread out over two pages.

We can, I suppose, ignore this. We can simply accept that the designer decided two pages per room. What we get, then, is eight (or nine, for an A/B room) are some relatively simplistic rooms. The interactivity here is basic. I’m pretty sure there’s one ‘fight’, with Vampire Kinght[sic] Armour. Nobody present really cares that you are nosing around in the caves. I can’t help but think that this could have been much better i it were larger. The goblins, cultists, bats, tomb, all with zones in the dungeon, expanding the thing to something with more going on and room for the adventure to breathe. 

The language used, for the room descriptions. Is rather plain. A large rectangular room. THis is not the height of language use to evoke imagery. The exception is the isometric map. It’s a pretty great art piece, harkening back to all of those Bat Cave and Hall of Justice isometric pieces from comics, or, the Starship Warden piece I have hanging on my call. Very evocative, but not exactly something you can run from. (There is a more traditional map as well, to run from, the isometric piece not being the most clear on room connections.) 

I can’t say it’s true or not, but it certainly FEELS like the isometric map was the starting point of this adventure. As if it were created and then the rooms followed on. Like the adventure, proper, was secondary to this and/or inspired by the art piece. That doesn’t have to be bad, but in this case the adventure just doesn’t feel worked enough. 

It remains interesting to me the many ways that the various subcultures produce bad adventures. Starting from bland, or assembly line, or wordy, or mini combats, or rote, or art, or layout, or, or, or.

https://pocket-sized-perils.itch.io/grotto-of

This is $5, Aussie, at Itch.io

By Greg Daley
Tarichan Games
1e
Levels 2-3

Dead bodies turn up, purple with poison. Word reaches the village that a pair of bodies have been found at the ford of a lonely vale, slashed and bloated. A wyvern has been seen on the mountain nearby. The adventurers explore the valley below the mountain, on the search for the killer. Can the characters defeat a threat from the frigid mountains? Will they defeat the creature and overcome the curse of the peak?

This 55 page adventure presents a small wilderness area and a four level dungeon with about 75 rooms, with the dungeon proper using about sixteen pages. There’s a conspiracy afoot, or two, all caused by the dwarves in the dungeon that the party will no doubt get mixed up in. You might think of this as a “normal” dungeon that then has some framing to it to spice it up by way of the conspiracies. While not particularly evocative, it’s a solid little bit of adventure that perhaps illustrates how to add emerging plot to an otherwise “normal” dungeon.

The marketing blurb above lays out the basic situation that the party stumbles upon. Two imperial tax collectors turn up dead, fat with poison and covered in wounds and a wyvern has been seen flying about in the mountains nearby. If you poke about the wilderness some you find a few unusual things. A stream full of grey silty runoff. A farm near the mountains has had some improvements. A nerid is pissed her pond is now polluted with the grey runoff. There’s also a trio of ogres and their minions who have taken up residence on a small hill, waylaying passersby that the party can run afoul of. 

In the mountains there was an old dwarf diamond mine that suffered a cave in and has been shut for a long time. A clan has moved back in and restarted the mine, surreptitiously. That’s causing the runoff. The farmer is working with them in exchange for his brand new roof and some new dwarf tools he has, as well as a future payoff. So far, just run of the mill stuff. But, the dwarves DID poison the tax collectors, who were getting too close to their secret, and have been flying a wyvern kit to scare folk off. Which is a tad complicated because there IS a young wyvern nearby as well. So, the party can kill a wyvern and the killings continue, which puts the party in bad with th (not really detailed) town. Not nice dwarves. Talking to the dwarves reveals a problem, there are monsters in the mine, could you pretty please? This is a trap, with the dwarves planning, through several subterfuges (including drugged food; breaking Host law! Forshame!) to kill off the party. The monster in the mine is a rock dude who is overseeing a nursery of rockling eggs that the dwarves fucked with and thus he’s been causing tremors to drive the dwarves away. Finally, the dwarves stole of “gem seeds” from him, and they are playing to make the underlying kindof dormant magma/volcano erupt to score a big diamond haul from the gem seeds. Which is also going to result in the nearby town and settlements getting ravaged from the eruption. And then, a dimensional dude is going to show up who wants the gem seeds also to create a gem warrior army for his rebellion efforts back home in his own dimension.

It sounds like a lot going on and maybe a bit convoluted, but I assure it is not. Instead, it is CONSTRUCTED, with what’s going on being the goals of the various entities. Let’s start by, say, building a dwarf mine/home/dungeon. They’ve moved back in to reopen a family holding and, being greedy fucks, don’t want to pay taxes and want to keep their secrets. So we’ve got a level or so of their clanhome and workings. And then have some abandoned parts with more verminy type creatures and a creature on the bottom causing them major problems. All pretty standard, yeah? And grounded in some real motivations, those yahoos who hate the gubberment and their taxes. Which fits in perfectly with the greedy dwarf thing. I love that it is playing to that, not just stout humans, but greedy fucking dwarves. And this is causing the killings, the wyvern thing, the fucking with the rock dudes nursery, the trick violations of host law,  and finally the potential eruption. Who gives a fuck about the people nearby? We care about our clan .. and gems. Really nice implementation of demihumans as an alien culture that LOOKS normal until you dig deeper, and, one of the dwarf themed adventure I think I’ve ever seen. 

Then, lets take that and build in the killings as a hook, and the required wilderness/overland portion to support the investigation of the “wyvern” attacks. We put in some clues for those paying attention, and dump in the nearest farmer as a further clue as they need a little support in their mine and have paid him off ‘in kind.’ We expand that wilderness a little also with the ogre fort to throw in some extra danger as the party tools around and then add the real juvenile wyvern as a decoy/aside to complicate the situation further. Everything is built around and supports the initial idea: the dwarf clan home/mine. Really excellent job constructing the supporting situations around the central conceit, which is itself built on the solid greedy dwarf foundation.

The encounter style is relatively terse. There some summary up front of the overall situation which helps frame the terse encounters. That summary could be clearer, it’s a little scattered, but it’s fine; one read through and you’ve got it. This allows for a wilderness encounter that reads: “3/Grey Brook- This stream is filled with a grey, cloudy silt. Dwarves or other underground creatures may identify the contaminant as dust from crushed rock. Those who have mined previously may identify this as mine tailings, from a process which pulverises rock.” That’s it. It’s a clue to more going on, a fact for the DM to build on. Or, a freshly hewn fence at the farm. A creek near the farm with a gangway hidden in bushes on one side and a cart hidden on the other side. Hmmm. Why’s that there? A body, killed by the “wyvern” may reveal stomach swelling … ingested poison. But you’ve got to pay attention, both as a player and as a DM to build on these little dropped facts and make it your own … in exactly the way a DM should in an adventure.

On the downside, the summary/intro is a little bit of a mess. It’s not a disaster, but things are scattered, repeated, and so on. It needs a hard edit with some laser focus to make it really stellar, but, again, not a disaster by any means. There’s not much for the town AT ALL, and a little bit more there in terms of personalities or complications would have gone a long way to supporting this part of the adventure. It’s essentially nonexistent. And the “adventures” presented in this section are really more of telling the DM the arc of how the designer expects things to happen. Investigating the killings, hunting the wyvern, finding the dwarves, getting fucked over by them maybe, the rock dude and dimension guy showing up … potentially the party being led there by the dwarves, and the potential eruption. The dwarves don’t really have an organized order of battle for when/if things go south with them. More of arcs or milestones than “adventures.” And, then the scale on the overland map is fucked up I think? It’s putting everything pretty much on top of each other if the “one square equals 20 feet” legend is to be believed. The writing could be a bit more evocative also. The rooms are fact based, maybe with a sentence or two on usage which is not supremely relevant. For example “7/Ablution Rooms These are a set of sparse washing rooms, divided for female and male dwarves. “Beard” dwarves wash with their sisters, for modesty. The rooms contain each contain three sets of chambers. The first is for dry clothes and towels, the next contains (cold) showers, and baths. The final room is for necessary (if unpleasant) functions. All of the rooms are solid, stone hewn, and work with hidden mechanisms, hiding unnecessary pipes, levers, or drains. “ No great sins here, but also nothing too evocative. The greater situations in the complex lend themselves to this fact-based descriptions, still allowing the greater play opportunities. 

Pretty solid. Maybe a little cumbersome in places, which more focus would help with, but I suspect that comes with time and practive.

This is $3.50 at DriveThru. The preview is fifteen pages with a decent variety in there. Good preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/553089/em3-wyvern-of-whitepeak-old-school?1892600

By John Webb
Self Published
OSR/5E
Level 2

[…] Years later, a band of opportunistic brigands took shelter in the manor ruins. In the depths below, their leader, Halren Pike, discovered the dagger and fell under its influence. Compelled by its will, he now seeks out elves and half-elves, testing their blood in search of a surviving bastard heir to House Thalanor. Though the bandits themselves are not uniformly cruel, their leader’s fixation has led to kidnappings, imprisonment, and worse. Some captives are released after being “tested.” Others are not so fortunate.

This twenty page adventure uses about seven pages to present sixteen rooms, six above and the rest below, in the ruins of a manor occupied by bandits. It’s a tactical deathtrap as your small band charges in to a mesatop fortress with a lot of lookouts and bandits present. It’s a raid, with nothing going on beside that. 

I dunno know. Either the designer asked for a review or it was in the OSR category trying to Puffery its way in to a few more sales. Ok, so, a long time ago there was an elf noble house that was mean to its subjects. People rise up and the lord kill himself and his family when things go south. His god is pissed at that. (So, you can be a despot and have a chill god but killing yourself and family so you won’t be taken is just a step too far.) Bandits move in a long time later. Their leader finds a dagger, cursed, that makes him test elves and half-elves by cutting them to see if they are the heirs to the elf noble house. This entire nonsense of stuff I find lame, with despotic elf nobles and the like. Man, just make them human. The whole “Demihumans are humans with pointy ears” thing is kind of lame. Where’s Jorune when you need it?  

Back to this, the designer tells us, up front: “With a mere sixteen rooms, this adventure’s complexity lies not in a vast sprawl, but more so in the behavior of its inhabitants and the unpredictability of its emergent narrative. Will the party fight, bluff, negotiate, or sneak their way into the lower level? Will they seek a peaceful resolution, or simply kill all in their path? Will they rescue prisoners at the expense of time and stealth, or leave them to an unjust fate? These are the questions that must be answered, Gamemaster, over the course of play. Alas, I cannot prescribe them nor would I, even if I were so capable! “  Just to be clear, none of that really exists in any practical manner.  I mean, yes, there are prisoners to rescue, but they are not really troublesome other than wanting to leave, just like all prisoners freed are. Nothing mentioned in that section is anything other than the normal course of play. Nothing special is going on. In fact, there’s a lot less special in this adventure than in most adventures. I don’t know. I guess if you play Napoleonic Miniatures and someone introduces a dungeon it might be remarkable, so, if you play D&D in hardcore 4e tactics mode then “Look! You can roleplay also!” might be interesting? 

“Wood Door: AC 13, 18 Hit Points, and immunity to Poison and Psychic damage.” Oh, how I have missed this nonsense. There’s nothing funnier than then when pay-per-word padding becomes the de rigueur standard because people grow up with it. But doctor… I am Pagliacci!. And, of course, married to that are explicit illumination notes in each room. This is so dumb. I’m not sure who these things are being written for that this kind of garbage has to be included. Well, no, I guess I stated it above. It’s written for someone paying by the word. But the designer writing THIS adventure doesn’t know that. They think that’s how you write an adventure. The sins of PF Changs Pad Thai run deep. That’s not real Pad Thai, but you don’t know that. Once you have the real thing you’ll never be fooled again. 

This is a frontal assault. There are nineteen bandits present, but six start not-at-home and return 10-40 minutes after the party starts fucking shit up. There’s not a super good description of the outside ruins environs, but from the map it looks like a cliff face with a landing on it ten or twenty feet up with fortress ruins on it. There’s a broad stair case up running parallel to the cliff face that then turns 90 degrees to run perpendicular to in to it. There are the remains of three watchtowers on the cliff “landing” ruins. There’s a bandit in the towers watching the approaches. There’s guard dogs sniffing shit out. The bandits have planted shriekers on the “unused” cliff edges as an alarm bell. There’s also a patrolling bandit, watching specifically the approach of the stairs, walking along the cliffside it is on looking for intruders. I’m afraid this is a tough nut to crack, even for my “burn it down and reroute the river method of murder-hoboing. There is a 10% chance a guard is asleep. Yeah? And, there is a secret door in. Right in playing view of all of the guards, on the stair landing where it turns 90 degrees. You gonna have to search for it and then make a history check at DC14 to recall the password. I don’t see how you do this under the guards’ noses. This all seems a bit much at level two. Well, for anything other than a pitched battle. Which is fine, but, it looks like a death trap to me with that approach. You could silence the shriekers … if you knew about them? And had access to level two spells? The secret door doesn’t seem reasonable. I guess that leaves bluffing your way to the top? I don’t know man. This feels like a hack … with the odds stacked against the party.

Inside it’s more of a hack, although not quite in the same “its a trap!” set up. There IS a curse you can break. You need to make an offering to a goddess of the correct type. Then commune with here. Then make a DC14 check. Then you’ll get a scroll that of remove curse. Then you gotta figure out that there IS a curse on the bandit leader and use the scroll. Yeah! Now they are just a normal group of bandits instead of a group of bandits that also “test” elves and half-elves by cutting them. Uh. Ok? Or, just stab the bandits? Oh no! The bloodthirsty demon has acne! Good thing you have him some zit creme, now he can get on with his reign of terror AND look good for his portraits! 

None of this shit makes much sense, and, it’s just a hack. I have no idea why it is in the OSR section of DriveThru. Usually that means Shadowdark, but not this one. I mean, it’s basically just a 4e adventure. And you KNOW that’s not a compliment. More minis combat min-maxing then RPG.

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview gets you eight real pages, including some keys. Good preview. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/564113/the-ruins-of-manor-thalanor?1892600

By Operant Game Lab
Self Published
OSR/Rovers & Riches
Level ??

Even the most ignorant children know the realm is divided by a massive, transparent wall. Everything outside the wall is “normal.” Everything that lies inside is “wrong.” The “wrong” lands are called Zu. Today, we take a field trip into strangest Zu…

This 35 page decently-sized hexcrawl adventure presents a bunch of hexes in Zu, a weirdo land full of bizarre things going on in a fantasy/post-apoc/PoMo mashup. The hexes can be interesting and are certainly creative, but they lack tension.

Let’s call this a farcical Rifts setting. A giant glass wall separates the Normal lands from the Weirdo place beyond the wall, which everyone calls Zu. There’s a break in the wall at Happy Town, to let you in. Tonally, a giant mecha made of junk is on the wanderers table and is described as “It powered by a dozen subjects running on human treadwheels. Six troopers (p. 24) with scoped rifles float from balloons lashed to the giant’s shoulders, poised to rain down leaden death.” 

This thing has a niche audience and it’s not me. And I mean this in two regards. First, the setting. It might be closest to that 4e D&D version of Gamma World, the Paranoia Zap of gamma worlds. Those things like Troika and Mork Borg come to mind as well.There is a strong element of absurdity here, maybe even Theater of the Absurd if I get a little meta. There’s an old school with a janitor in it and a teddy bear that needs stories read to it. Or, a water slide aqueduct trickling water to an empty pool where cleric chicks covered in sponge suits dole out the water to bedraggled people standing in line ala Fury Road. Happy Town itself is ruled by a little twilight zone Anthony with a wand of transmutation who turns people in to stuff if she doesn’t get her way, so the people there only make candy and cakes and force smiles here in Peaksville. Tonally, you’re going to have to be ok with this kind of content being your game if you want to use this, and I suspect the more niche sides of the OSR are where this is aimed. You not gonna be happy with this if you don’t like zaniness.

I’m struggling to find a way to frame this second point. There is, in my mind, a difference in game play in certain systems. D&D, of the classic OSR style, leans more towards a game. You are typing to stay alive and level. There’s an inherent tension in that, and staying alive and leveling is ‘winning’ at D&D. It lends itself to campaign play well since there is continuity, your character. This is one of the reasons that ‘museum adventures’ are so frustrating to me; you are actively discouraged to interact, which works against what you are playing. Other RPGs fall more in to an Activity. Baron Muchausen is the classic example. Your enjoyment comes from something different. And that, I think, is where this adventure lies.

The hexes in this have two general types of encounters. First there are some filler hexes, making up about half of the hexes. Short, with only two-three sentences, they provide some flavor. A hex full of wines, walking through them wakes them up, and they feel the party members and pat them on the back before opening up to allow them to pass. Freaky? Absolutely. But nothing else going on.

The second type of hex, representing the other half of the hexes, take about a page or so each. There is more text and whats happening is more involved. But, i would assert, to the same end. There’s nothing really TO DO. Oh, you can get involved, but why? Touching things and getting involved brings trouble. And there’s not really anything to exploit, as one might in a traditional hex crawl game. If you were just trying to interact to have a good time then you’re chill, yeah, freaky things will happen. But no one is going out out their way to gack you (other than perhaps the wanderers) and there’s not really treasure to loot to exploit, at least in a traditional sense. Some of the hooks DO send you on the hunt for something. Happy Town wants you to go get a candle. Ok, so, I guess we can explore and look for that. SOme hexes ARE mentioned in other hexes, but they are not really interconnected, either explicitly or, I would assert, implicitly, in that you can, say, break the dam in hex X to flood the orc caves in hex Y, or some other wacky scheme that the party were to come up with. You enter a hex, have a wacky encounter, and move on to repeat.

For the more Activity-based RPG”s this is going to be a great adventure. I think it serves everything they need to get in to wacky situations. But for a more campaign/game based game I’m not sure its overly useful. (Not that you can’t campaign Mork Borg or Troika or DCC, but I don’t think it works out that way in practice.) 

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $5. PWYW and then preview is the entire thing, so good preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/483434/field-trip-to-zu?1892600

By Dale Houston
Duck & Crow Press
OSR
Levels: Low/"Rookies"

Under a raging river of turbulent, caustic water that melts organic material in moments lies the decrepit remains of a nefarious wizard’s lair. Opening a passage under the river would mean commerce and prosperity, and every brave adventurer worth their salt knows that a wizard’s den is guaranteed to have some reality-bending magical loot! Get ready for some liquefactive necrosis.

This 32 page adventure uses about eight pages to describe seventeen rooms in a wizard lair/passage under a river. Great specificity. Good challenges. Good formatting. A good and solid basic adventure that, white not exactly the most memorable, is setting everything up for success.

This is the first adventure in Dale’s Undying Expanse series. It’s not Thundarr, or even gonzo, but there are absolutely hints of it, at least in this adventure. The premise here is that there was once this fortress spanning a river. The river is caustic, like, full on acid. Up and down the river for ten miles along both banks is a prismatic wall. One of the former fortress dwellers was a wizard who hated the locals, it seems. Anyway, time passes, wizard dies, fortress collapses, and now there are just some crumbling remains, a passage UNDER the river. Trade routes anyone? And, as usual, there are some bandits hole up and some wizard leftovers. 

The rumors here are interesting. You get about a page of them, sixty, arrayed in ten tables of six each, by topic. So, each village, the bandits, the river, etc. That’s a nice way to zero in on various topics the party may be asking about. The villages in the surrounding area map are tied in to the hooks and half about a column each; a couple of notable businesses that an adventurer might visit and a couple of people, all don in a manner that’s easy to follow, terse, and full of flavor. “Big Hierome: Always laughing, compulsively eats sweets; this brute manages the bulls when they get a bit too feisty” The hooks, likewise, are short but have that specificity to them that helps a DM bring them alive. “Magistrate Yeldo of Flont will pay the crew six month’s wage to open the passage.” or “Jane Blood, local crime boss in Rockton, will forgive your incredible debt if you open the passage. She wants it to be a toll road.” One of these is exactly a “pay the party” thing, but its founded in something realistic, wanting to open a trade road. This helps elevate it beyond the normal old “someone hires you” hook that people toss out. And the crime boss one is grounded in her entry in the village, “Unassuming and simply dressed local business woman; rumored to be a heartless psychopath in charge of a criminal gang, has a large number of ‘cousins’ always nearby. “ There is MORE than enough there to make Jane a mainstay of the adventurers life, both in this adventure and in future ones. You can really riff on that and yet it’s terse. That’s good writing. It’s specific. Cousins. The rumor. Dale hits these very well and is certainly in the top tier of folks when it comes to that part of the adventure. 

Each room entry is offset in a little light green box with an entry that could be read-aloud or room details to summarize to the players, and then some well formatted bullets, starting with a bolded keyword, to help focus the DMs attention in on the things of import in the room. There are little embedded tables or “tracker boxes” present as well, where appropriate. Nothing goes on for more than a couple of sentences, making it easy to scan and parse information at the table during play. A little “modern” in terms of generous whitespace, with rooms taking between a third of a page or a full page to describe, but it’s all easy to use. 

The text does a decent job of being evocative as well. “Low oily fires giving little light” or “Cauldron: A mess of “villager stew” is thickening in the cauldron. “ or “Tarp: Made of human skin leather, faces and hair still intact. It is recently made and still a bit damp. “ Still intact. A bit damp. It’s a tarp. Good word choices to really bring these things to life. 

Interactivity is decent as well, both in terms of individual rooms and in the larger context. One room has a trapped demon in it. Pulling a lever in an earlier room releases the demon and he starts to move throughout the dungeon. Peepholes show you other places. An initial room has a bunch of skeletons on stakes in it … it’s full of crude traps (think jugs of river water and sharp sticks) … but the skeletons face the individual traps, so you can use them to help navigate across the room. Of course that’s how the bandits inside navigate it. There are consequences for your actions. It’s not world ending, but you can feel them. You could do enough damage to collapse the ceiling and flood the place. Oops. No trade route. And if the demon gets loose then there are some notes on what happens in the game world; not the end of the world but trouble for a while. Coming out of the dungeon on the other side of the river “This is where some of the “bad” kids from Rockton come to smoke, drink, and make out.” and you freak the kids out. Drunk bandits. Stripping magic inlaid circles of their inlaid silver. The rooms have consequences, many of which are telegraphed in subtle ways for those paying attention. A rubble filled room with gold braziers stuck in the rubble. Dig em out? What about those crumbling walls, signs of impending collapse? Prisoners of the bandits to free, connected to the town (and, potentially, hooks.) You’ve got the dungeon environment to interact with, the walls and rubble and leaks and such. You’ve got the bandits and their ogre boss at the beginning. You’ve got old wizard shit. Lots to do.

Things are also supported well. There are a couple of art handouts, one of which cleverly conceals some imps hiding that negates surprise if you notice them in the drawing. Handwritten notes. A good hex map, new monsters, notes on the dungeon map about “always on” things like the leaking walls, so the DM can emphasize them

The dungeon map, proper, is a little busy and not the easiest to read. While the use of color to highlight text is done well through the rest of the adventure, the dark maroon keying blends in a bit much, and the “art” use of shading on the map, with rubble, makes things a little less clear then I would prefer. It’s not a disaster in any sense, just not as clear as I would prefer. And, we get a little sloppy with the use of the word “turns.” That skeleton/trap room “Following the paths takes 3 Turns to get to any other wall, 4 turns if moving cautiously” Thirty to forty minutes, or three to four actions, you think? 

These are just nits. This is a solid adventure. Easy to use, evocative, interactive, with lots of fun specificity. There’s a 4HD ogre and an 8HD demon, so, challenging for a level one group, but it does a solid job. 

This is $12.50 at DriveThru. The preview is fourteen pages, showing you the intro, hooks, rumors, villages, and numerous dungeon rooms. Great preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/540645/under-the-caustic-river-ahnd?1892600

By Jason Youngdale
Youngdale Productions
DCC/OSR
Levels 1-2

Long ago, beneath the fertile valleys south of Castle Dragonwater, a minor baron swore fealty to the Starved King, a demonic entity of hunger. In exchange, the baron’s land flourished with endless crops and fattened livestock. When the baron died, his descendants sealed the King’s shrine in terror—but the hunger below never ended. Now, farmers near Horndale report crops rotting overnight and livestock turning feral. Strange lights flicker in the old Granary Hill Mound, and the smell of roasted meat fills the night air. The locals beg the adventurers to descend into the forgotten vault and end the demonic banquet once and for all.

This twenty page adventure uses about four pages to describe twelve boring rooms of boringness using single-column formatting. Here are words that should be a contradiction: it’s a boring DCC adventure.

The turn of the millennia was an exciting time in RPG’s.the 3.0 explosion, indie RPG’s everywhere. I remember Polaris. Or, rather Polaris: Chivalric Tragedy at Utmost North. Conflict can be ended by someone saying “Thou are but a warrior …” Yeah, that’s tragedy all right. Your force of arms can do nothing here to resolve things. Noice! You know ol Brycy Bryce loves some human relatability and complexity in his game. Not to punish the party for wrong choices but to muddle the affairs of the way the word REALLY works in to an RPG and still have it be fun. Let us imaging, though, after saying this the party then stabs the NPC. And then they go all Lancelot-at-the-wedding and stab the king, queen, prince, half-brother, wedding guests, and everyone else in a ten mile radius. Ha! Damn skippy I’m a warrior biatch! I’m not sure that one is playing Polaris then, even though you might be using the Polaris rules. Blah blah blah its art is the creator calls it art blah blah blah. Whatever. It’s lost the point of Polaris. 

And thusly this adventure and DCC. Let us imagine a DCC adventure with three 30×30 rooms in a row. No doors. 4 orcs in each room. Each room is otherwise empty. Is this DCC? It’s stat’d for DCC. Does that make it DCC? Sure. But it has lost the point of what a DCC game is. What is it, Mighty Deeds or something, where you can describe using what’s in the room to do cool shit? That’s the point of DCC. It makes cool shit happen. The halfling, the thief, the mage, the fighter, they are all built around making cool shit happen ORGANICALLY. The person has an ability, but the environment and set up is there for the party to riff on. The designer takes us to the McDonalds PlayPlace and the fighter drowns someone in the ball pit. Except. What if there is no ball pit? Or slide. Or anything else. It’s just an empty room. I’ve played in DCC games like this at cons and the difference is marked. 

Examining this adventure, room 1 save or vomit. Room 2 save or eat dirt. Room 3 is a ghost kitchen with nothing to use to fight in. Room 4 has a banquet table to fight in. Room 5, finally, is larder is hanging hooks to fight in. Room 6, pantry of jars to fight in. Room 7 had a bed to fight in. Rooms 8 and 9 have nothing but saves. You get it. There’s is little to build on here. What the fuck am I supposed to Might Deed in a ghost kitchen in which nothing is real? The banquet table isnt fucking stupendious but at least it has a table, and the same goes for the larder, at least there are hooks with shit hanging on them. Not exactly a complex environment but at least its SOMETHING. 

And the save rooms. Ug. Save or vomit. Save or eat some dirt. These have no meaningful impact on the game. It’s window dressing. Just a reason to roll dice. It’s fucking lame. 

The locals are starving, crops withering, livestock fading away. “The locals beg the adventurers to descend into the forgotten vault and end the demonic …” WHat about them? DId they try and fail? No? We don’t care about them? Because we don’t care about the adventure? It’s just a flimsy pretext for a VERY lightly themed “hunger” dungeon? Yeah, I know, because it comes off like that. There’s no immersion here. All these pages. Nothing.

“Giant rats could also be in this room, waiting to attack any intruders.” Wonderful. “Four ghouls here jerk their heads sharply as you approach.” Great, embedded tenses in the summaries. “This appears to be a” Padded out wording. It’s only four fucking pages rooms and it’s still padded out. 

Nothing to see. Move along. Move along.

This is $10 at DriveThru. The preview is the first three pages and shows you nothing but the credit and table of contents. You can’t make a purchasing decision based on that, so it fails at being a preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/555500/the-banquet-of-the-starved-king?1892600

By Taron Pounds, Lawrence Schick
Landof the Blind
OSR
Levels 5-10

Three relics have been stolen from their owners, and worries have spread about the power one person would have with all three in their possession. Word of a substantial reward for their return spread, with a poem as the only clue. 

This 36 page adventure uses about twelve pages to describe the eighteen rooms of White Plume Mountain. A homage/updated version with the serial numbers scrubbed off, it is trying hard on the ease of use front but loses the charm of White Plume by under-describing. 

I’m down with the overall goal here. Updating some of the classics to improve upon them seems like a fine idea. I mean, I still have several Dungeon adventures on my ToDo list to overhaul and update for when watching paint drying becomes too exciting for me. As an experiment to understand layout and formatting and what’s important I think it’s an interesting idea. It also gets some eyes on older adventures, many of which forged new conceptual ground. And then also I suspect time would be better spent on new adventures, but, who am I to tell someone how to spend their few remaining precious moments of life? There’s another aspect to this as well: the system-neutral thing. It’s not really system-neutral, it’s aimed at D&D-like systems, with stat blocks to prove it. I’ve never really found a problem using adventures for other systems in whatever I’m running (which is generally B/X based with a heavy bend to oD&D) however I suspect there is a certain market limitation, or advantage, to saying “Works with Mork Borg!” in any event, I think this is the proper way to do it; stat it for a B/X as the foundation of most systems follows, and then note what it can be used/adapted for. Perhaps a little disingenuous in the marketing, but, meh, at least you planted a stake in the ground. 

It’s pretty obvious what they doing with the formatting. Bolding, bullets, icons, headers and so on. There’s a little intro section, a few sentences or so with some bolded words and then some bullets to follow up on those. The icons are probably overkill, meant to tell you “this is a trap” or “this is a monster.” All in all, I think there’s too much here. The pages end up busy and your eyes tend to glaze over a bit. This is a not uncommon problem in some adventures. Folks recognize that formatting and layout can bring clarity but they they take it too far and it can contribute to obfuscation. If everything is important then nothing is, or something similar to that saying. I’m going to list the lighting condition, door, stone texture, etc in every room, would be a similar problem. No. You have to craft these things carefully. Adventure design, or, room formatting and layout, is not a one size fits all issue. You can have go to techniques but you have to use them carefully to highlight certain aspects to bring clarity. When something becomes rote and is generically applied then it can lead to problems. 

But the major problem here is that this comes off more than a little soulless. There was a charm in White Plume that came through and this doesn’t feel like it has that. This feels like a bunch of rooms with challenges in it and little else whereas White Plume had just a little bit more going on to ground the rooms and encounters. S2 has a rather mangy and bedraggles sphinx squatting in the water. This, however has “a sphynx stands on the other side” [of the forcefield.] This has six globes of silver dangling from the ceiling, with bullets for their contents. S2 had silvered glass globes dangling from the ceiling on unbreakable wires, that a good crack would shatter, dumping their contents in to the muck below. It’s a much fuller picture and paints a much more evocative scene than just a mostly fact-based list of the challenges in the room. And this is not cherry picking, it happens over and over again. I ofton encourage folks to think about the room, devoid of mechanics, and create it, then adding mechanics, instead of the mechanics leading the charge. This is how we get the slim strands they hang from and the good crack and the dumping the contents in to the muck. Further, we can see a word choice in S2, spartan but present, that brings this room to life, and that just isn’t present in this adventure respin. While we do get the “silvered” globes, it feels like an extra adjective was just thrown in for the sake of having one rather than painting a complete and evocative picture of the room.

I do like the cover, but that art style is one I find personally appealing. And an attempt is made at the wanderers, with the gargoyles flying a corpse somewhere, for example. It lists factions, but, these are not really factions with a factions game and things they want, it’s just a list of major monsters. I not, also, there is a disconnect between the text and the supplementary pointcrawl map. (The adventure has a “real” map also.” The pointcrawl map point out rooms with the mucky water in them, but it disagrees with the text on rooms 13/14. No so great when the reference material is off. 

So, it’s White Plume, explicitly, with updated text and layout and the serial numbers filed off. But the updated text has removed the specificity that brought White Plume to life. Thus, it is just the wacko room challenges boiled down to mostly mechanics. And that’s not the vibe I’m looking for in an adventure. 

This is $5 at Drivethru. The preview is the whole thing. Yah! Great preview. I might suggest checking out page ten of the preview/page six of the product. That is the Globe room. I think it encapsulates the formatting/layout and the derth of specificity in the descriptions.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/561058/ghost-crest-peak?1892600

By The Crafty DM
Self Published
OSR
Levels 1-3

Arriving with little coin and no reputation, the player characters must earn their place through action, not titles. The town is wary, its people practical, and its problems real. Strange signs gather along the docks, the nearby wilds grow unstable, and something stirs beneath the waterline. Through investigation, negotiation, and hard-earned victories, the party builds trust with the townsfolk while uncovering the first threads of a larger danger.

This 39 page adventure presents three mostly scripted fights mini-quests in a small fishing town. They follow a pretty rigid outline with some kabuki of interactivity that amount to monologue, fight, monologue. It seems to have some U-series overtones. 

We’re not starting out strong with this one. The pretext here is that the party is new to town and they have to do a bunch of mini-quests to gain the town’s trust. Then, in another module in the series the town will trust them enough to give them an actual task.This strikes me as aking to the asshole quest-giver tropes who treats the party like shit and still expects them to run errands. The implicit assumption is that you can treat the PC’s like shit and that they have no free will. Yes, we all want to play D&D tonight but how many hoops do we need to jump through before they just go somewhere else to seek their fortune? The party has free will. This is followed up with bythe designer with a comments “Not all of these quests are presented with full detail in this module. This is intentional, allowing you to tailor certain tasks to the personalities, abilities, and backstories of your players.” I see this sometimes in adventures. This is inevitably NOT a sealed off passage for the DM to expand upon. It is instead getting ahead of criticism by saying the flaws exist on purpose. The whole It;s Up To The DM To Bring Life To The Game thing. Which, while true, ignores the central tenant of adventure writing for others: you’re supposed to be helping the DM out. Leaving a sealed off passage is great. Flaws in execution are not.

You’re in town, arriving in a bar in the opening read-aloud. What follows is a series of mini-quests that all follow the same outline. Some comes up to you to ask you to do something. You talk to them. You go to a location and maybe roll some dice in a performative way to “investigate.” You get in a fight. You talk to the person who gave you the quest. I know, this sounds kind of like the platonic outline of a quest, but, the difference is that this is three scenes. Someone runs to get you. You talk to a fisherman and look at a body and talk to an old lady. You might roll some dice to look at a body. You go back to the docks at night (I hope …) and get in a fight. You talk to more people the next morning and are told you did a good job. You talk to someone about a druid. You go looking and fight some woodland beasts in three waves. You talk to the druid and do the performative thing. It’s all a really simple pattern here. 

There is nothing really to fail, except I guess the combat. If you don’t do the thing you are railroaded in to then you’re instructed to modify the end monologue but to keep the arc going. On the docs, the Sea Devils you fight are looking for the body you examined, and that get stolen no matter what you do. I guess if you have it strapped to your chest and chained to you it still gets stolen? 

It’s just so … obvious? Low effort? Read a bunch of text. Lots of read-aloud and lots of italics. Everything just follows along the “plot” without any deviation, no matter your actions. Your actions and die rolls don’t really matter. What’s the point of this? 

It’s just a railroad of an adventure with a VERY simple outline of a pattern that repeats. I mean, again, I get it. We;re playing D&D tonight. But the meaninglessness of it all. Rolling dice for no reason. No pretext of choice at all. Yes, the DM can fill in and bring it to life. But you have to give them something to work with.

A haunted house on a hill. Sea Devils Lizardmen, The house in this is red herring, not even really covered. The lizardmen are friendly. But it’s the same elements as the U series. It’s fine, I guess. You get to reimagine and respin the classics. Well, if done right. And this isn’t done right. Perhaps the platonic example of a low-effort adventure that one might throw together on the back of a napkin in three minutes before the game starts?

There is no price of trust in the adventure. And I’m not sure I’d come back for anothe rgame if this were the campaign kickoff.

This is $3 at DriveThru. There is no preview. There is an annoying youtube promo. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563326/sinister-secrets-the-price-of-trust?1892600

By Nicole Mattos, Icaro Agostino, Davide Tramma
Angry Golem Games
OSE
Levels 2-4

After being denied recognition as the supreme lord, Severo cursed the region, bringing a devastating drought to the Village of Rangdum. In desperation, a Council of Elders performed a forbidden ritual, sacrificing a young woman who became a Rusalka, bound to preserve the lake through a hidden artifact deep beneath its waters. After being denied recognition as the supreme lord, Severo cursed the region, bringing a devastating drought to the Village of Rangdum. In desperation, a Council of Elders performed a forbidden ritual, sacrificing a young woman who became a Rusalka, bound to preserve the lake through a hidden artifact deep beneath its waters.

This fifteen page document is the outline of an adventure, in which most of what’s presented doesn’t make much sense given two seconds of thought about it. It’s just the usual low effort crap that gets churned out. 

Ohs Nos! People are disappearing down by the lake! There’s singing coming from the lake. Nobody knows whats going on! People are moving out! The village is dying! Blah Blah Blah. No one mentions that the villagers sacrificed a young woman awhile back. To the lake. To keep the lake fruitful. 

There are some timeline issues here. It’s not really apparent how long ago the sacrifice took place. It’s implied, and stated in one place I think, that the Council of Elders are the only ones who remember. But, also, how long as chickcula been doing this? Since day one? Did it start suddenly? Did the lake go from Dying to Healthy But You Never Approach It Or She Kills You in like two hours? None of the backstory makes any sense, which is gonna make an investigation pretty difficult to conduct. Oh, also, the lake is, I think, called “Cursed Lake.” Anyone? Anyone? No? No ideas? Ok, gee, I don’t know then, why people are disappearing in to the lake called Cursed Lake, that you hear singing from, that the elders know they sacrificed a young virgin to for prosperity. 

Not that it hatters, there’s not really anything to investigate. The Council of Elders are not mentioned in any detail, even by name, and  have no personality other than NEVER talk about the sacrifice. No one in the village has a name or personality. There’s a short six entry rumor table of abstracted information but that’s it. There’s one dude, in a cabin, a level five magic user who shoots lightning bolts at you and then sleeps the entire party and captures them. He’s the only one with a name, or any information. He’s also extremely paranoid, so, you know, good luck with that. 

Besides the MU cabin there’s also an abandoned tower i the wilderness. It gets no map, just a text description like “On the first floor of the Tower there is a guard room, along with a small fireplace and a spiral staircase.” and so on. PUT IN A FUCKING MAP!!! Jesus Christ, the effort is minimal. Just stop phoning it in and do it. 

Not that I would suggest wandering too much. The table has things like 1d6 wraiths on it. Civilization this is not. If they don’t get you then the bears will. This is a rough table to put right outside a town that you NEED the party to push through to explore. Oh, fuck, did I mention that the hook table is a 1d4 table? Fucking people who don’t understand the point of a table in an adventure. I guess its just de rigueur these days to slap a table in for this, nit that it matters, it just irks me. 

It’s an EASL adventure, I’m pretty sure, and that’s ok. There’s an awkward turn of phrase here and there like “The sight of the Village is devastating.” There’s no real expansion on WHY the sight of the village is devastating, just it looks a little abandoned. I am going to say this is NOT an EASL issue, but rather a general adventure writing issue, not providing any descriptions that are concrete, specific, etc.

At some point, I think maybe in the Lake entry, there are notes on how to kill the monster. Like a stab its shadow with cold iron sort of thing. We are told we can learn this trick from the council of elders or the MU. But, would it not be better to put that information in the entry of the place we learn it from? 

The adventure is rife with these sorts of basic disorganization issues. With missing descriptions. With a lack of specificity that would tie things together and bring it alive. This is just a hand wave of text balh blah blah monster in the lake blah blah blah. It’s just an idea of an adventure, some napkin notes that don’t really introduce anything interesting to the “lake sacrifice” genre. I think I’m done with the Angry Golem for awhile, especially since their liner notes say that their adventure have been well received. These designers to write this. Pffft.

This is $5 at DriveThru. The review is eight pages and doesn’t really show you anything of note. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563628/fortnightly-adventures-7-the-singing-lake-ose?1892600

By Martin Cubas
Weird Adventures by Martin A. Cubas
Castles & Crusades
Levels 2-3

They can’t see you. They don’t need to. A colony of blind, grotesque predators has infested an abandoned temple deep inside a canyon. They hunt by sound. They move in packs. And they’re starving.

This thirty page adventure uses about fourteen pages to describe seven rooms. Obviously long-winded and padded out, you kill a few monsters. Also, it’s not dark.

Oh lop-sided page count, where have you been? I’ve missed you. Look, I get it, PDF pages are “free”; you’re not paying to print them. Why not put in a bunch of appendices, and lead in, and backstory, and everything else? It’s free! Academically, I agree. But, in practice, what I see time and time again is a poor adventure with a low “core” page count with a whole lot of extra information. While a bit hyperbolic, one must ask oneself, is the designer interested in writing an adventure or ar they interested in world building and the adventure is just a pretext for that? Again, I don’t care if you world build. I don’t care if the page count ration is one adventure page per one hundred pages of backstory. But if you’re selling me an adventure then it had better be a ROCK. FUCKING. SOLID. Adventure. And it almost never is. The designer is distracted by the fluff. They spend their effort there instead of in the core adventure text. What pops out the other end is just another crappy adventure surrounded by a bunch of backstory and appendices. Who would like to guess if this is in the one in a thousand adventure in which there is a lot of fluff and a solid adventure? We all know the fucking answer already. You have to AGONIZE over the adventure text. It should be the best possible, that you are capable of (… ) and more. 

Ok, so, we’ve got some eyeless creatures in a cave. There’s a long backstory here about bandits, a holy order, orcs, and so on but all that really matters is that there are eyeless creatures in a cave. They hunt by sound. This whole “shrieks in the dark” thing doesn’t really matter. They can use a sonic attack, but the party is never limited on light. So, you’re just stabbing some monsters in a cave. The central conceit, of these creatures who can hunt without sight, is never capitalized on. We get long monster ecologies (in fucking italics …) who nothing about them putting out lights, etc. So, you’re fighting 5HD orcs in a cave that have a sonic attack. 

Room descriptions average a couple of pages each. There’s no need for that. Nothing that interesting is going on. “The disc was collected by the Shrieklings along with other debris from the caverns and has no special significance to them.” Great. You want me to etll you about the pile of shit I collected this morning? It has no bearing on anything, so why not? Backstory, meaningless trivia. Overexplained things. “The Shrieklings’ thick, mucus-coated skin produces a scent that naturally repels the barracuda, allowing them to swim and hunt freely.” Explanations on ecology. Great. That’s not coming up during play, so it’s a great thing it’s in there clogging up the descriptions (as my aforementioned shit this morning may have the toilet?)  These are simple rooms with simple interactivity that are just padded out in what amounts to a wall of text. Bullet point up the main issues, but if the bullet is half a page then what’s the point? Sixty some words to describe “+4 to move silently when within 15’ of the waterfall.” 

The designer notes that this is inspired by the a Dungeon Design Framework. Monsters have patterns and routines, etc. There are a couple of charts to help with the monsters wandering patrol paths. I’m not saying they are wrong, but they are poorly done, not noting the creatures locations. Just dots and blips that you must then interpret and expand on. Hooks are all “you are hired to “ nonsense. And, in particular, the claim that “Inside, you’ll find tightly written areas built around meaningful encounters, and systems that keep the dungeon active between player actions.” would not be true. Tightly written. Meaningful encounters. I think not.

This is likely the last Cubas review, joining Mohr, Filbar, Elven Tower and the rest.

This is $2 at DriveThru. The preview is ten pages. Meaning nine pages of background/fluff/intro and one that starts to show the first room. (There’s another full page of room one info.) Take a look at that Gannt chart like thing. The blue and reds could be handled much better to show current location, not moves. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563481/c-c-shrieks-in-the-dark-c-c-edition?1892600

By Dougal Cochrane
Self Published
Dolmenwood
Level 2

South of Fog Lake, where the Cave Path plunges into the Ballow-Clefts, the horizon narrows to a ravine of glistening wet stone, steeped in shadow. Pale yellow celandine flowers bloom ankle-high in the gloom, their petals never fully opening except at noon when the sun shines in. Narrow clefts riddle the rock, most shallow and choked with roots. From one fissure seeps the earthy scent of moss and the sickly odour of mildew. The cavern leads down into the Grotto of Grundlow Greenteeth.

This 22 page adventure uses about nine pages to describe twelve rooms in an underground troll den/garden. It’s wordy, cutsy, and has both too much going on and not enough at the same time. 

Can you be nicely formatted and STILL have wall of text issues? Why, yes, I think, now, that you can, after reading this. Is it wall of text, actually? I’m not so sure. It is certain A LOT of text. Because A LOT is going on. And the text, while not in traditional straight paragraph wall of text format, does repeat certain patterns that obfuscates. 

But first, our setup. There’s a two-headed troll in a cave, with a grumpy head and a romantic head. He eats moss. He’s got a mossling cook enslaved. Mossling hates grumpy head and is in love with romantic head. Mossling grows herbs and puts grumpy head to sleep. Thus the Bog Red Button. Don’t wake the grumpy troll head … that you generally don’t know exists. Then, there’s a dude with a body switching thing. He’s trying to dig up a gate in the troll cave. He’s made several people switch bodies and minds. And a gang of skeleton thieves (as in, they are skeletons who are thieves.) is trying to knock off a prospector for his emeralds … and the prospector and his donkey have both been mind-switched. And, there’s a slumbering demon who does NOT give eternal youth when awakened. All that shit, and more, is in twelve rooms. 

There’s A LOT going on in here. Rooms can range from a column to a page. And this is where things start to get rough. Rooms start with a little description in an offset box that is easy to locate. Let’s say, something like this: “Dark, earthen tunnel (wet stone floor) tangled with thick tree roots (beaded with dripping water). Several wooden buckets (half-filled) sit beneath the largest roots, placed to catch water. A skull is wedged in a crevice halfway along the tunnel.” So, king od a mashup from OSE style to paragraph style. I’m not sure it works. If this had been a paragraph, without parens, or terse OSE, I think it would have gone better. The sentences with lots of parens distracts. I mean, not a bad description by any means, I’m nitpicking here. Certainly better and more evocative than the vast majority of adventures.

And then we move on to the details of the contents of the rooms. And this is, I think, where things start to get rough in terms or formatting. There is a bolded heading and bullets with more details on what to see and do. Maybe a couple of words of description or explanation or mechanics or whatever. And they are nested, so, looking at one thing that has more subparts SHOULD be fine. 

I think the issue here is sheer quantity and the use of the bold/bullet/indent format on, essentially, everything. Let us assume I have a bookshelf with 24 books on it. Each book gets a bolded heading/bullet, a sentence or two, and then I move on to the next. A few get a few indents and a mechanic or two. Everything is relatively mundane. Book eleven kills you when you open it. Meh, bad example. You REALLY need to know book eleven is there and it is the only book that does something meaningful, most of the rest is trivia, or else meaningless more or less to the adventure. Should book eleven be in the exact same format as everything else? Should it be highlighted? I’m not sure of my example, here, but I know the principle involved: when everything is special nothing is. I’m looking at a page of, I don’t know, a couple of major headings with read-aloud, major bolded headings, several subheadings, bolding at the start of major sections and in the paragraph text. It’s too much. EVERYTHING is calling for attention. You know how garbage adventures tell you what ‘AC” means and what “read-aloud” looks like? This may be the first adventure in which I think I actually have failed to understand the formatting involved. Everything is calling for your attention. What should I pay attention to? I’m not willing to say this format doesn’t work for complicated rooms, but I am willing to say that it doesn’t work HERE, on THESE rooms. 

I don’t know what to say about interactivity. Don’t wakey wakey the grumpy troll head. Feed people sleeping herbs. Maybe do a deal with the skeleton dudes or the wizzo doing the body/mind swaps. I think it’s hard to dig through here and figure out what’s going on. I’m thinking of a room with a kind of west garbage pit in it. I’m thinking like the Trash Compactor scene from Star Wars. There’s a description. There’s a columns of bullets and bolding and sentences. And then there’s this note that a major NPC (mind swapped in to a donkey) is “braying piteously and thrashing to stay afloat in the muck.” Well fuck me man. That’s obviously the reason the room exists. Don’t you think maybe I should know about it sooner, and the party should as well? Why go through all this trouble of description and mechanics of staying afloat and then bury the lead? Most rooms are like this; something important is in there and it’s almost certainly NOT getting called to your attention in any meaningful way. 

There’s a lot going on here in a short amount of space over a short amount of time. And, yet, it’s not written to run as a kind of madcap adventure, as that would imply. There’s not enough room for everything going on and there’s both too much going on in the room descriptions while, at heart, not an extreme level of interactivity. It LOOKS like there is, due to all the herbal concoctions and hooks and ind swaps and so on. But I don’t think any of it really means much at all. I’m not going to commit fully to that opinion, this thing is a bear to dig through and that may be impacting my judgement. But, also, I’m pretty sure I’m right. Just fucking walk around and stab everybody and everything is solved and you’re much safer in the end. 

This is $5 at DriveThru. There is no preview. Boo! Hiis! We need a preview to make an informed purchasing decision.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563700/troubled-troll-grotto?1892600

By Pat_Sagor
Pat_Co Productions
Nimble/OSR
Level 3

In the heart of a volcanic wasteland, the Tower rises amid fire and ash, a slender edifice of stone. Its citizens never leave the Tower, and keep their mysterious traditions out of sight from the outside world. But they have gained immense wealth trading wondrous artifacts extracted from the depths below the Tower… Outside the Tower, Baron Hugues DeMort’s massive army has been laying siege for over a month. Unable to breach its impervious gates, frustrated and desperate, he has devised a plan to infiltrate the Tower, and he just heard of a group of adventurers that are brave, capable, and … expendable. The perfect team to send on a probably suicidal mission!

Greetins Green Level adventurers! Friend baron has a new, fun, and exciting adventure for you! This fifty page adventure describes about twelve scenes inside a gigantic tower/city that is under siege. The party travels through a rigid caste-based society that really be in a 70’s social commentary scifi movie instead. Follow the script, stab the bosses and then … win?

Ok, so, Baron von Evil is laying siege to the massive tower city and sends the party in through some lower cave/tunnels to get to the city gates and blow them up with the bombs he’s devised for you to carry. You get in and find a massively caste-based society. The tower/city has four levels. The lowest, black are the workers, then the level above has the red managers, then the golden enforcers and judges above that, and then the white intelligentsia above that. We’ll let you decide if Black=Worst and White=Best has any meaning here. Anyway, it’s right out of a scifi movie and, in fact, this probably should have been a Gamma World adventure but, then, of course, it wouldn’t sell any copies at all. Ok, so, anyway, you’re in this city on the lowest levels. You gotta get ahold of some levitation bands to Ascend through the central shaft. Along the way you meet rebels, learns about the rape of an 8 year old by a cop, and find out that hte whites are not white, they are all really just one lich in charge of everything. 

The designer kind of knows they’ve written a railroad and has some words on advice on how to make it not a railroad and more interactive. There are some very basic maps of the city regions, but, ultimately, the adventure comes down to the twelve or so scenes/events that make up the plot here. You’re in the tunnels and then watch some cops kill a couple of citizens just minding their own business. You watch an Ascension, where citizens are promoted to the next color up. You meet a rebel and then get arrested by the ol “four more show up every turn” trick. Youre in the middle of the Barons army invading the tower, you boss fight Golden Centurion Marigold 1 (that’s one of the tower peoples names. Like I said, SciFi) who covered up the rape of the little girl. Let’s see, one of the lich’s victims telepathics you, and then you fight the lich. Let’s see … have I bitched about rape yet? Of a child? Why are people putting this shit in their adventures? This is supposed to be fun. You know what’s not fun? Child rape. People just seem to toss that shit around the way they toss around Hitler when arguing. Maybe give it a rest and find something else for the cops to cover up? Maybe Soylent Green is people. That’s fun. Can you  imagine? People love it. They riot over it. And it’s actually people. And, notably, not child rape. (and murder! Don’t forget the murder after the child rape.) 

The adventure gives you a list of NPC’s, a list of scenes, and a list of locations. There’s a decent number of summaries and background information as well, but, really, it is the people, places, and events that drives this.

Well, I say people drive it, but it tends to be more of a “Guest Star of the Week” kind of the thing. You get an NPC in a scene or situation and then you’ll be lucky if they continue to show up. Thus there is a relatively large number of named NPC’s, each with decently long NPC descriptions. Those descriptions are fairly well done but at some point you’ve got to ask yourself why we have so many people. You can’t possibly form a bond with any of them, not in the amount of time they are showing up. There is supposed to be this underlying theme pr regression, rebelling against order, blind adherence to order and the neutral observers to it all that is handicapped (Let’s see the judiciary enforce their decisions when enforcement power belongs to the people they are ruling against.) And then, of course, ultimately the entire system comes from corruption at the very top, the farce of the liches leadership. 

We’ve all seen a lot of liches. Party liches, grim liches. We’ve got a master manipulator here, that shows up a couple of times in public ceremonies impersonating a “white,” Possessing, really. And he has some tells. He raises his hands to his face and says “Actually …” a lot. There’s a fun little gimmick to get the party wondering, This is just slightly farcical and one of the better parts of the adventure.

Looks, it is essentially a railroaded scenebased adventure. The designer tries to help it not be that with some locations and a tad bit of free will, but that’s what it is. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is, I suspect, how the vast majority of people play D&D, some derivations of scene based with a lot of hand-waving. Not my favorite type, but I get it. If you’re gonna have scenes then lean in and write a scene based adventure. If you want your location based adventure to have events then dump those in. This adventure never fully commit to either and is the worse for it. Devo says you need to Sartre this baby up! This needed to be all events/scenes or a location based adventure with “secrets” to discover and a few events thrown in. 

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggest price of $1. The preview is eleven pages and gives you a good cross-section of different aspects of the adventure. Good preview. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563227/the-tower-for-nimble?1892600

By Scott_M
First Era Adventures
OSRIC
Levels 1-3

Few now recall King Aethelberd’s name, but in his time, he was rightly feared. His ruthless crusade against criminals and sinners took thousands of lives… many by the king’s own hand. The ancient lord’s body now rests somewhere below his ruined keep, his legacy all but forgotten. Rumors, however, tell of a trove of kingly treasure buried within Aethelberd’s tomb, along with his legendary weapon: Angbolt – The Mallet of Justice.

This thirteen page adventure presents a dungeon/tomb with about twenty locations. A ‘standard dungeon’ with a few different situations going on, it is relatively wordy for the degree of content present, coming out to about four keys per page or so for a mix of vermin, undead, and bandits. 

I’m rather fond of the setup of this one, or, perhaps, the framing. There are some ruins on a hill in a wood. And I mean ruins; almost nothing left but a few walls. Once the tomb of majestic figure,eons past and nothing is left of Ozymandius (by Shelley you cetin! God how I love Frisky Dingo.) but two legs. And, now on the road through the wood you come upon a dying man and a ransacked cart. “Tracks in the dirt indicate that three humans in boots led a woman and child off into the woods, along with a heavily-laden mule or pony.” Low bandits, now hold up in the topside walls of the tomb of a lord known for justice, too scared to venture down the stairs.  I find this framing rather poetic. No highborn rebels or a bandit-king with airs and plans, just the meanest and most low of ruffians, picking on a man and his woman/child brutally. Too common to even venture in to the hole in the ground in search of gold, camped in a place of utter ruin, of former majesty that they have no knowledge of. This is all handled rather briefly.

The rest of the adventure is not bad, but it doesn’t come close to that poetry. It is a relatively standard dungeon crawl, perhaps a bit above the usual average, with not a lot to distinguish itself and a few things that could be done better. This is not an Orcs in a Hole problem, but perhaps a sign of a hobby in which every adventure ever written is available immediately to you. How does one stand out in a crowded marketplace? [By each adventure having the unrealistic expectations of being a masterpiece, duh! If the premise of the blog is that common mistakes are repeated time and again then the secret hope is that those eventually get resolved and concentration can be done on more in-depth stuff.]

The bandits are huddled in the upper ruins, little more than a few crumbling walls. They’ve set a slack guard during the day and wall themselves in at night by moving boards. There’s a nice earthiness to this. They see the stairs, and have stuffed the women and child in a cellar room, where they whimper, but are too scared to venture any further. I might emphasize their condition, of both the captives and … beastiality? of the bandits a bit more, but the quick mentions of their fear and how they wall themselves in to the ruins is good. 

The map supporting this is fine for it’s size. The hill, ruins and wood around it are covered fine, and the dungeon proper has a variety of features, caves, water, worked areas, streams, statues, same level stairs. It is clear and has creature notations on it, which I always find very useful when running an adventure to keep the surrounding dungeon context front and center when running an encounter/noise in a room. Good job, and something I wish more adventures did to help me out at the table.

The dungeon entries, proper, are where my hang ups mostly lie. And I have no idea how to describe what I think is wrong about them. They do tend to be a bit long, four paragraphs is not uncommon. There’s an occasional bolded words or ALL CAPS monster reference, which shows some awareness of trying to call the DMs attention to things. But, for all the world, I can’t figure out why the entries are long. Typical problems in other adventures might be backstory embedded in them, or victorian laundry lists of contents, overly describing, trap & door porn or explaining WHY. None of that really seems to be present here, and yet the entries tend to the long side, particularly for what they are. 

I’m looking at an entry for room eight, The False Tomb, which I think is fair representation of the other rooms as well. There’s three paragraphs of general description. The first is the overall room, then one touching on some alcoves and frescoes, then one about the body in the room under a shroud, and its treasure, and the skeletons it triggers, and then one about a bronze chest and its loot. I can’t really fault any one of them for being there. The first paragraph reads “The shrouded body of a long-dead warrior is laid out upon a stone bier. The floor surrounding it is covered with various burial offerings: Ratgnawed baskets, sealed crockeries of seed oil and spoiled wine, moldering furniture and tapestries, graven idols of old gods, etc. (no value). Among the funeral goods stands a squat bronze chest” This is not the most evocative thing ever, but it’s trying and I recognize that. It’s also, I think, not lingering too much on the mundane. I can’t particularly fault the description of the body and chest and their treasures either. 

So the descriptions are not in and of themselves problems. And the formatting is not terrible. It’s certainly not wall of text and there is an occasional bolded word to direct the DM to more information. The closest I think I can come is that there seems to be a disconnect between the length and the … mundanity of the interactivity. There are some traps here that are more than just a pit. (Flaming oil jet!) Rats, centipedes, skeletons, wraiths, shadow, zombie dog. The more special undead have a note or two to bring them to life. And there’s an otyugh in a well, ala Moria. 

I don’t know why, but maybe the absence of more exploratory interactivity, but it feels plain to me. I’m not excited by this. It’s not bad. I just don’t look at it and and can’t wait to run it. Specificity? I’m going to assume this is a me thing.

This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages, which shows you the setup, the maps, and a few dungeon rooms. Good preview. Take a look and see if you can nail the descriptions thing.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/561573/aethelberd-s-tomb?1892600

By Craig Turner
Aspire2Hope
Generic/Universal
Levels: Ghouls as an ememy

In Faynford at the Staple, tension simmers beneath the smell of hearth smoke and fresh bread. Old fears stir as food grows scarce, livestock go missing, and whispers spread—of sickness, of shadows, of the dead no longer resting easy. Beyond the river bends and chalk downs, the Hundred is holding its breath. The boundaries between custom and survival, welcome and warning, are wearing thin. Something hungers in the dark, and the quiet strength of this land may not be enough to hold it back. Your road has led here. Whether by duty, kinship, or necessity, you have arrived on the edge of a story that will not wait. Will you uncover the truth before Faynford at the  Staple falls to fear—and to what walks in its shadow?

This twenty page horror-ish adventure describes a bucolic village, and the refugee situation that is unfolding as they absorb villages who have been displaced by war. It is quite long-winded and verbose for what is essentially an outline of an adventure. The outline part is ok, but the long-windedness results in confusion of the overall situation. Too much time on vibes and not enough time on specifics. 

I’m a sucker for Harn-like settings for adventures. Call something A Hundred and I’m drooling, for some reason. I guess it was 100 Bushels of Rye. Whatever. We’re here today because of that. And, then, we mix in, from the marketing blurb, what appears to be a horror element. I think horror translates well because of the emphasis on situations that it fosters. I can restart a monster, but the vibes and plot and horror elements are for the designer. I love my classic exploratory dungeons, but the journey to and from the dungeon, and shit going on in town, has always been a part of D&D and these little situations are great for dropping in to spice up the “downtime.” 

So, we got this village. Humans, halflings. The halflings were refugees about fifty years ago and have settled in. More war has caused an influx of new refugees. The locals kind of recognize kinship to them, accents, mannerisms, far less alien than the halflings were. Then a lamb goes missing. And a couple of people die from a new disease, ashskin. Things are tense. The local sheriff wants to relocate the refugees a little farther down the valley. This is the pretext for the adventure. It turns out that a local seedy patriarch is an agent for a foreign power and ashskin? That’s people turning in to ghouls. Did you recognize it by the name ashskin? I didn’t at first. And I love that kind of shit .Where you describe something to peoples faces and they don’t get it. They drop some gnawed bones and bodies here and there, and once you get to the graveyard and find out the graves were dug out from the INSIDE, well, the undead is up, so to speak. 

The adventure wants to outline a situation. It’s trying to present a map with various locations on it and then explaining what is going on at those locales. It provides some NPC overviews with mannerisms and goals, for the DM to drop in to the game and use as the party comes across them or seeks them out. It flirts with doing the right thing. And then it fucks everything up.

The NPC descriptions fit, maybe, two to three to a column. There’s a bullet for Appearance, Personality, Goal/Motivation, Quick, Disposition, and What they know. Maybe somewhere from three words to a dozen or so, and then the person ends with a little quote. This is all too much. It’s on the right track, a quick, a goal, what they know, but then it muddies it up with too much information that one needs to dig through. And this is going to be a theme here.

The locales, a half dozen or so, stretch on for a column or page, and then have their NPC’s, in the same format as above. It starts with a setting prompt, in bullet form: Light, Sights, Sounds, Smells. This is too much. Shortening this to  a sentence or two, including all of them in it, to give a little vibe would have been better. There’s a brief couple of paragraph description of the locations “the fields are well tended, it’s maintained through diligence.” Again, too much. The diligence comment it meta, and the whole location description is hard to sort through, I suspect, during play.  Terse. Hit. Get out. We want a quick vibe if its not super-important to the location to have details. Then we have a section called Plot. I’m looking at seven paragraphs, one or two just a sentence, like “Corwin is dead” or “Pip knows what that means, even if he struggles to say it properly.”  The plot section, what is happening, the meat of the location, what the party can find out and do and so on, is all muddled by this. This is NOT the time to get flowery with your language and clever with your descriptions. And yet it does, over and over again. This is a nightmare to dig through. This would have been the PERFECT time for all of those bullets. 

The overall plot, what leads to what and who’s doing what, is confused because of all of this. Cognitively it’s a problem. After a couple of times through this I’m still not sure I can explain the hows and wherefore and whats connected. I THINK 

The elements it wants to emphasize, the contention between the refugees, the more established refugees from fifty years ago and so on, these are not well handled at all. There’s little to bring these to life. The tension that should be going on isn’t added to by specifics. We’re not looking for everything spelled out and scripted, but vignettes, specificity, to drop in to make that tension come alive. Even the spying, it’s not really brought home. 

This was a good idea. Blaming The Others should be relatable to the players. The mixing in of the ghouls and people turning. Great potential there. But this would need a lot of effort to bring to the table. It knows to outline a situation, and it knows the major elements to hit, it just fails in doing that in a way that can be run or in bringing it truly to life.

This is $4 at DriveThru. The preview is four pages, not quite enough to get a good vibe check on it. Only the last page really gives you an idea of what to start to expect in terms of writing and presentation. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/562279/the-quiet-hunger?1892600

By James Desborough
Portmortem Studios
LotFP
Levels 2-4

A high-concept adventure beneath the bone-white hills of Southern England:. […] The hearthstone tilts forward as the ground beneath it gives way, and the fire collapses inward with a choked sigh. A black seam splits across the floor, racing between boots and table legs, widening in the stretch of a blink. Tankards slide. A bench tips and crashes onto its side. The air fills with a grinding roar as chalk collapses in vast, dry heaves beneath the inn. The far wall lurches downward, its timbers shrieking and daub shattering to powder and horsehair as it tears loose. Cold night air floods briefly in through the widening fracture, carrying the smell of wet earth Elinor cries out as the boards beneath her feet dip and tear apart, and she vanishes into the dark. Outside, horses scream, their hooves beating against nothing […]

This 62 page adventure presents seventeen rooms of pitch blackness in a “lair of the sub-humans” tunnel complex. The designer had an idea and tried to implement it, but has no idea of what an adventure is or how to write one. Thus a confused over-wordy mess that, I think, doesn’t understand the Lamentations game system either. The pretension, in the face of this, is interesting to see.

You’re sitting in a bar. Oh no! The tavern collapses in to the earth. It’s very dark. TOTAL darkness, not even infravision or magical sight works. Subhumans start killing the other survivors who fell in also. Thus starts a little over a dozen rooms of groping about and smelling your way to the mystical ate that gets you back to freedom while you suffer -2 hit, +2 to be hit, blah blah blah. 

This is garbage. It didn’t have to be.

The designer here is a Clever Boy. We know that because he tells us that in page after page of introductory text that amounts to See How Bad Ass I Am? I don’t know, he’s scared of the dark, he obviously met Raggi once somewhere and they are basically the same person and now he wants to suck him off by name dropping and it’s not a Fuck You dungoen its actually just hard the way OSR dungeons should be. “This is Atypical You’re not going to find any of the typical adventure-book fare here.” Uh huh. Listen to the voice saying Follow Me, says Frankie. As it has always been, the person shouting the loudest is generally engaged in flim-flam. 

“Perhaps the best/ worst example of this was The Tomb of Horrors, but the ‘fuck you’ is now used as a condemnatory slur directed at anything with even slightly elevated deadliness or Old School sensibilities.” No asshat, it is not. But you didn’t write this for the OSR, did you? You throw some words down on paper, with painfully little care, in order to slap a price tag on it and make a buck or three from whatever followers you have and test the waters for more from the OSR crowd. Alas, at least from your viewpoint, you will find little purchase here. I suggest one of the more niche circles for your medicine show.

Name calling? Ad hominem attacks? That’s not this blog. Or, rather, it’s reserved for the worst of the worst, the money grab people. Let’s see just why this adventure is garbage.

There is, at a minimum, column long section of text up front defending hard dungeons ala the Fuck You dungeon, and, of course, noting that this is not a Fuck You dungeon. This is wrong. It is a Fuck You dungeon. Further, it’s a Fuck You dungeon that, I suspect, has never actually been much less playtested. The mechanics in this just don’t work. The presentation doesn’t work. That’s how I know this. Perhaps one of the very earliest examples of this, in the text, is what happens when the tavern collapses. You have to make a save or take 2d6 damage. That’s gonna be a 16+. We’re looking at between 5 and 18 HP for a party of mixed classes for levels two to four. And you’re gonna take seven damage. AND THEN YOU NEED TO MAKE ANOTHER 16+ SAVE OR TAKE ANOTHER 2d6! These are not optional. They represent the collapse of the inn into the chasm belowground. That is, on average, fourteen damage, with a fighter, on average, having eighteen hit points at fourth level. And you want me to believe that you have play tested this? Run this? Believe you know how D&D works? No. I loathe mechanics. I loathe an appeal to balance. But I also know that the lack of understanding of low hit points, saves, and turning undead are the absolute tells of fuckwit medicine men. [As in, all medicine men are fuckwits, not an adjective to describe certain medicine men.] The designer does not, in any non-trivial manner, understand the game system that they are writing for. The snake oil is strong with this one. 

How else do we know? The read-aloud. The read aloud here is long. VERY long. Like, a page long in some sections. A column, or a good chunk of one, is not uncommon in most places. James Desborough has never read that text aloud to anyone playing this game. Because if they had then it wouldn’t be that long. James would have seen his players turning on their portable gaming systems, watching tiktoks, going to get a beer, swiping on tinder, or whatever. No one pays attention. We know this. It’s common knowledge. You don’t monologue a villain. The players don’t pay attention. You don’t write long read-aloud, the players get bored. This is not a player issue. This is a designer issue. The WotC study, the article about it read-aloud and attention spans, should be well known by this point. And, as I noted, even if it were not the complete lack of player attention as you spew more and more irrelevant flowery text at them should have been a major hint to the designer. If it has been play tested, of course. Or even run for someone. Does it work for the players? Do you CARE that it works for the players?

How about the DM? Do you even care if it works for the DM? Or is this just a payday for you? You see, gentle reader, the text here is in italics. And in a funky fucking font in italics. No one, ever, in the fucking history of the world has ever said “Oh boy! I hope I get to struggle through a long section of flowery text in a font that is hard to read!” Long sections of italics are hard to read. This is, or should be, common knowledge. Funky fucking fonts can be hard to read. Funky fucking font in fucking long sections of italics are VERY hard to read. It’s a fucking cognitive issue in much the same way that single-column text causes more fatigue than double-column. Not that YOU give a fuck. 

Let us move on to formatting. The text here is in a kind of long conversational paragraph styling. The only straight appeal to formatting is a bolded word like “Smell” or “Taste.” That’s good. It helps direct the DM attention to those needs. You know what else the DM needs? To know how many creatures there are in the room. Room one in this is where the adventure starts, so to speak, the pit the tavern and everyone has fallen in to. There’s some vignette shit where the party hears gurgles and screams as the Bone Tomahawks slit throats and cut hamstrings and the like. And, of course, there’s a fight for the party to take part in. It doesn’t actually say. Ever. Some of the people in the inn survive the fall and there’s a little section for each of them that describes their current state. Related, there’s a brief “event” that is the attack, and in the text of one of them, relating the attack on one of the fallen NPC’s, there is a note that says “If they kill both the attackers …” That’s all you’re fucking getting. Pretty fucking basic, isn’t it? How many enemies are in the room? No? You wanted to write some story game bullshit and slap an OSR label on it? Or, are you just incompetent as a writer after all these years? Or, given up and doing a money grab?

How now brown cow, let us look at immersion. There is little. What there is, though, is designer fiat. Why can you not see in the dark? A Wizard did it. Why is X? A wizard did it. I’ve been writing three reviews a week for, what, fifteen years now? The amount of contempt the designer has for their audience is beyond compare. Yes, fuckwit, we are all playing D&D. We know that if we want to play D&D tonight then take the hook. We know that everything in the fucking game is made up. And we rely on designers to provide the verisimilitude that does not break the fourth wall and does not drag us out of the vibe. You didn’t even fucking try. You just wanted X to happen. I don’t need explanations. Those suck also. A contingency spell goes off that triggers a magic mouth that says a spell trigger word. That’s bullshit also. Explanations suck. But immersion in the game does NOT suck. It’s a major fucking point of RPG play. But you don’t give a fuck about that do you? Cha ching! Given that no one makes any money in RPG’s I must then assume this is and ego boost for your self-described “high concept” pretentious adventure of little imagination.

There’s a reference sheet at the end with some mechanics on it. That’s good. There are also a series of NPCs who you end up with in the tunnels/pit. The descriptions of these are in three parts. A read-aloud (ug) and a paragraph or so of information that is full of background as well as mannerisms. The mannerisms are good, the backgrounds less so, and in most cases could have been eliminated or GREATLY reduced. Then there’s “their condition after falling in.” The mannerisms and condition information should have, also, been included on the reference sheet, in an abbreviated manner. There’s a nod to this, but just in terms of a name and tracking their alive/dead status. A few extra words here, on mannerisms, would have gone a long way. IE: how to use them in play. 

Otherwise, this is just a series of encounters in the dark with little interactivity beyond that. There’s a lot of room in the OSR, from the RAW 1e crowd to those smaller games that lean more towards streamlined mechanics. I don’t see this as fitting anywhere in the spectrum.

This is $13 at DriveThru. There is no level range mentioned until you get in to the meat of the product, that should have appeared on the cover or the marketing page on DriveThru. The preview is six pages, the first six, so you get to see a good deal of the initial pretension. It should have included a page or two of encounters to give the potential buyer an idea of what they are purchasing. That is the purpose of a preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/561839/kingdom?1892600