[2017-02-09] The Grumbler

Lately I've been grumbly about work. I habitually take on more than I can handle and feel stressed. It isn't stress about the work itself, but the people it affects. I'm by no means a people person however I care about people. People are important and people come before material things. I often stop in a decision to think about how this will affect people.

It is not about appreciation, acceptance or being liked. Mostly I like to be left alone; it's part of who I am to care about other people's needs.

When I take on work, my concerns are about doing the best I can for the needs of the people hiring me. This generates pressure to do everything perfectly even though I'm not perfect.

So I get stressed at my imperfection and start to grumble to those closest to me.

What a bad example that is, to grumble about the work I do. I have it pretty good. I have some control over my life which allows me a lot of control over my health making me a stronger person. I have people around me who care and clients who are loyal.

Most of all, despite my grumblings, I have a peace inside that isn't easily disrupted. I always trust that things will work out no matter how my outward grumblings may appear.

My bad example can hamper other people. Grumblyness in general is not a way to live and it encourages others to see life in a grumbly way. My outside should represent my inside and show people peace.