Furiously Eclectic People

OD&D "Malchor's Misty Isles"
Session 170 in Isles
Session 26 since heading out to Tonisborg

Player Characters

The Remnants (being stolkholmed by villainous zealots)
Cadfael the Sleuthing Cleric
Madoc the Fighting Man
Einar the Aeros Thief
Crafty the Bookish Magic Wielder

Free Adventurers
Sewcup.... No idea his Race or Class.
Dextro the sometimes Fighter, sometimes Thief

Dextro and Sewcup are freely exploring the dungeon having escaped the clutches of the Draconae madmen. They have no idea why the rest of the party didn't come with them and returned once but still no one wanted to explore.

Cadfael, Madoc, Einar and Crafty are prisoners of the Zealot Order Draconae (Zod for short) for some trumped up charges riddled with lies. They are let out to do busywork.

Cadfael announces their treasure finds to nearest Zod and requests armour in return, postulating that gaining treasure is of no use. Zod thinks it's a trap and declines. Another Zod eventually proffers five suits of Leather Armour for the gems. The first non-insane thing the Zods have done. Everyone looks across the hall at the once heroic figures now hanging on hooks like tortured meat. Zod is known for their torture, murder and cannibalism along with gatekeeping the dungeon from potential heroes who might free the dungeon of their evil.

The NPC George who helped the party with a ghost previously is hauled into the dungeon by Zod for reading a book. Zod steals a crate of books from the party. Seeking knowledge is evil to them. Crafty tries to speak justice for George but they put him in a room where crying and or laughter is heard.

Dextro and Sewcup had previously killed a Gray Pudding/Ooze and three giant iguanas who all attacked immediately and without warning. They followed their path back to a wall. Sewcup believes that there is a hook or some sort of device on the other side of the wall that lizards could pull to open a door. We find a button that opens this side to see a bedroom.

20th Century Fox plays in the background along with a voice "Who let the lizard's out, who who who."

Revealed is a bedroom with three large fluffy pillows with the names Muffy, Fluffy and Duffy sewn onto them. There is a tassel hanging from a rope that goes into the ceiling presumably to open the secret door and there is another egress from the room. Sewcup was right! Dextro opens the chest at the foot of the grand bed to find thousands of gold coin and Sewcup pulls a map out of the pile that leads to a forgotten treasure hoard. A voice from on high says we can only carry 3K gold each and repeats some strange ancient word enk-uhm-branse. Neither Sewcup nor Dextro understand this word but Dextro being a trained Tinker starts making a device to haul heavy objects with the grandiose bedframe.

George is revealed again to the party with a sour and glum face, looks at Crafty, frowns, shrugs and leaves. The remnants of the party are sent by Zod to inspect some doors down the hall with some story of the dungeon fighting back, which if true means they are the invaders and perhaps the dungeon could be set free.

Madoc goes first and they discuss spells and archetypes. Upon opening the first door they spy eight very docile giant snakes. Very unlike the previous encounters with Ants who block the door and attack. A Sleep spell is cast and oil thrown in but nothing happens and they shut the door in fear. Cadfael casts Speak with Animals and they have a merry chat through the door. Very easy going snakes.

"Are you trapped here or is this your home? Can you go as you please? Will you leave or fight?"
Initially the snakes want to fight but Madoc chimes into Cadfael's spell and gets them on their side. Parleying goes on awhile and the snakes reveal that next door there are spiders.

They open the spider door, cast Sleep again and throw oil. All spiders are slept and Crafty wants to keep them. Madoc kills nine and Crafty saves one.

The snakes, feeling annoyed at having to wait, open the door and come into the hallway. Cadfael agrees to proect them with his life. Somehow The Remnants know that sending the snakes down the stairs will harm Sewcup and Dextro and those friendly monsters go very willingly, smelling the adventurers some ways away (through multiple sealed doors). The Remnants (names rhyme with glass bowls) have had it out for adventuring since day one and someday karma will be paid upon them.

Zod does a 180 and not only lets The Remnants go but offers them a possible job the next day of which they hmmm and haw with words about rest and spells and rest. Zod makes up some story about their evil being descendant of Svenny the Paladin and have love-bombed many nobles and taken advantage of orphans. Madoc submits and proffers his ability to their evil cause.

System: Original Dungeons & Dragons with Greyhawk and some other stuff.
Adventure: Tonisborg

Session 163 of the campaign in the Misty Isles
Session 19 of Tonisborg (if you count session zero as one)

"Double Standards on Paper"

Dunderhauk, Einer, Dextro (who's injured), and Crafty stay at the ghost-free Inn with their books and such. I don't know what that mess was about with them tearing into the floor. Wealthy people worrying about their wealth i guess.

A few brave Fighting-Souls in Madoc, Baylor and New join me and this quiet Rask fellow to go below this overpopulated urban sprawl for some adventure.

Who am I you ask? You shouldn't. I'll tell you anyway,. Kaz the Querulous they call me. I didn't pick it. I am what I am.

Madoc chooses our path and leads us too the dungeon. He seems to get looks from the peasants. I've heard rumour that the peasants here act like mad dogs or perhaps something called Children of the Corn. Hopefully we can get by them without a fruckus.

We're questioned by some Marko character. I demand his papers but he's clearly a criminal sort who doesn't have any. I ignore him however Cadfael buys some papers from him. Apparently these will grant us access to the catacombs and their friend Crafty keeps hers safely stored. She must be the smart one. Good. Smarts just gets in the way. She can go learn from her books and if any of us survive this endeavor, teach others a better way.

We make it to some lout named Harold. He makes demands and is even shiftier than Marko. He also has no badge or pin nor ID. He won't show papers. It's quite a shady deal. He tried to send us down what looks like a fools path and he openly admits there are many entrances (implying safer) to the catacombs below and while (in Elvish) I convince him we're trustworthy sort, he will only share a single other entrance.

If you are reading this, I am dead and you should seek out the other entrances. Some shady goings on that such a place be beneath a city to begin with. Is it like a cap on an older world? Are they hiding the old gods? Is the dungeon alive and they use this to slowly kill it? What is their game and who are they?

Madoc makes a plea to check on some gnolls. I stay quiet as I don't know these people well and if they have other business, we can do that first. Cadfael and Madoc talk on it and decide to try this 'new' entrance first and check on the gnolls later. Maybe if we had a map to get to these gnolls, but I understand they burned it with a previous comrade's body. They better not burn me.

A hundred to a hundred and twenty five feet later we find a spiral staircase. Harold goes off. We hear a scream below. Madoc exclaims, "It's Human!"

We rush down and to no surprise see three warrior women torturing their own kind. "Humans killing Humans, tale as old as time," I mutter.

Madoc and New question them and they get all hauty. Their eyes gleam as though in some cult. They, will not identify themselves at all. Nameless they ignore my simple request for their papers or to see their leader and turn aggressively toward us. They are clearly part of some sort of doomsday cult trying to spread evil and stop good folk whom they openly label as graveroobbers and treasure hunters.

They joke to us about funneling people to the second floor. It's hard to tell if they're evil cultists or idiots but it doesn't matter. Showing them our papers just incites their madness.

Somehow Baylor knows about the pin I was sworn to keep secret. Poopy diapers. I have not kept my word if he spotted it. Well, I can't screw this up any worse now.

New calmly asks these psychos what floor we're on now and before they can attack I send one to lullaby-land. Perhaps she can be reasoned with later. Luckily they couldn't have seen that coming....

We all charge them but their evil unnamed leader has given them great prowess. Maybe that's their schtick. The nameless ones who protect the catacombs from humble god-fearing folk seeking to make the world a better place.

I'm impressed how well this group works together as we all step into battle. We're good. Evil will pay and nothing will stop us.

New opens my eyes to Human combat maneuvers and skewers one. Impressive. Most impressive. The evil cultists yell for help but none will come. No one would aid such lunatics.

Rask, Madoc, Baylor and Cadfael fight like a team. My shoelace is untied and I can't join them. Let me get that knot just right. "Hang on guys, we don't want anyone to trip."

I sort of lose who kills who but two of the cultists are down and poor New has fallen. Frig she's fast; this nameless aggressor who wouldn't identify herself or parley without blood falling. It can't get any worse but wait, why is Baylor just standing there? Jiminy crickets! Fight darnit! Five of us, three of them and two are downed already. Poor New. She was mighty. Things can only get better from here.

We all engage this formidable barrier to adventure (the nameless idiot cultist). Rask and Baylor take hits. Madoc strikes her hard and is in turn dropped. Oh fudge. As long as Rask stays with us with his flanking maneuvers, we'll be okay.

Like a demon she sees 360 degrees and can not be flanked no matter how many of us there are and she drops Rask. Double fudge and crackers! Well, as long as Cadfael keeps his mighty staff, we'll be okay.

The devil-knight hesitates, possibly re-energizing her evil powers. Doesn't she know we have the mighty monk-detective Cadfael? She is in for a....

Cadfael puts his staff on the floor and backs away.

Baylor and I try to parley with this witch and somehow with no battle sounds to muffle his descent, that Harold sneaks up on us. He must be one of those Theives I've heard about. Legendary ones like Sebastian or that one I heard of named Paully who took down a whole pirate gang single-handidly. I didn't think any were in this part of the world.

It's convincing proof of the theory they are demon controlled (disease? by choice? fanatics for sure) as no one in real life is that silent. Maybe Cadfael knew what was happening. We should just leave. We don't want to catch their disease. What if it's airborne?

Harold stabs me. That snickerdoodle got me. He got me... Why Harold? We could have helped you....

Cadfael and Baylor are jailed with Cadfael advocating for Madoc's return to them. Some more Draconae funsquashers come in and heal Madoc in their continuing efforts to 'protect their domain from first level characters.' Have they infected him now? Will he become the next demon cultist?

Why do I know what happened? Hey, I don't want to spoil movies, but narrating doesn't mean one survives until the end.