Tracy's HackMoor Campaign 2015/10/27

As advertised we had a cheese-only extra large pizza, with extra cheese.

Games are on Tuesdays sometime around 5:30PM at World's Best Comics, 9714 Warwick Blvd Newport News, Virginia 23601.

++++ PREFACE ++++

During the previous session our Players got out of Hell, via gratuitous expulsion by Dispater, the ruler of the second layer of Hell (grumbling, "If you got to do something right do it yourself." mainly because one of his minions couldn't do that simple task). Once back on the Prime Material plane, the party found themselves in the middle of a paved street in Colchester, UK, because the ArchDevil didn't say where nor when in the Prime Material he'd send them. They got rescued from police detention on weapons charges by Clara, Doctor Who's assistant with the assistance of U.N.I.T.



After accepting Clara's invitation, the party filed into the U.N.I.T. helicopter with an unconscious Huang acting like Mr. "T" from the A-Team because he didn't want to fly. (He had flown before with the party, just not in a MACHINE.) They landed outside a large estate reminiscent of something out of Downton Abbey which turned out to the latest headquarters for U.N.I.T.

Clara invited them to ask any question the party needed as she only wanted to help them get back where they belong and not knowing where they were from.

Elefus told them they were from BlackMoor. "That's odd," said Clara, you don' look or sound like you're from Blackmoor."

"Can we see a map?" Elefus asked.

"Sure I think, hold on." she replied. She pulled out a little device and connected it to a wire. Then as if by magic, a brightly lit map of the United Kingdom (circa 2015) appeared on the wall. She walked up and pointed to a little dot in the vicinity of Southampton and asked, "Is this BlackMoor of which you speak?"

Elefus said, "That's nowhere near the water, Blackmoor is a port and thriving kingdom.", and "Why can't we have a paper map?"

"That would take too long." she said, "In any case it doesn't appear you're from around here. Can you provide any more clues?"

Thinking long and hard, the Elefus asked, "Have you heard of a place called Vyet Na'aam and Murica?" To which Clara said. well we call it A-merica, but I don't think there are any BlackMoor's there."

++++ DIGRESSION ++++

At this point as gamers we got into a side discussion. We ALMOST decided to have one of Clara's geeky U.N.I.T. Assistants with heavy horn rim glasses come forward and say, "I know where BlackMoor is. That's a role playing game we play in Chiswick every other week. These guys aren't from anywhere, they're FICTIONAL CHARACTERS come to life!"

(We decided not to do that.)


The Party then told Clara about the about the "Freedom Bells" and how they were supposed to find clues to its location in "Vyet Na'aam" so they could get to Murica and perform the ceremony to set the Duchy of Ten free from the Afridhi barbarians.

Clara, came back with, "Well, America is famous for what they call the 'Liberty Bell', but we don't talk about it much here. The Americans consider it a historical artifact. It is kept in one of their landmarks guarded night and day, neither do they don't ring it anymore, it has a crack in it. Could that be your ... 'Freedom Bells'?"

The Party responded almost in unision, "An artifact with with a crack in it! And the world wasn't destroyed!?"

Clara tried to explain it wasn't that kind of artifact but ...

Then the Party got all upset. "Obviously, Muricans can't be trusted with their own artifacts. For their own safety we must take it from them!"

Then Efefus came up with an Out of Character question. (This earned his character negative five Honor points. Elefus had too much Honor and he needed ways to bring himself down.) The question was:

"Where is Torchwood?"

Then he became particularly interested with another question:

"And who is Captain Jack?" (Another negative five honor points.)

Clara responded, "I'll get back to you." and got on her phone.

Elefus then said "Let's eat." and asked for directions to a dining room. Clara directed them to the U.N.I.T. cafeteria. Not trusting the English fare of bangers and mash or fish and chips, once they were seated Elefus cast a Create Food and Water spell and they ate some Blackmoor food.

While they were eating there came a familiar whooshing sound and the Doctor's Tardis appeared. Out comes this gangly looking Elf, looks at the party and says. "How did these guys come back from Hell?" and "I thought we left Twitch for dead?" *

* (Everyone who died while in Hell was also brought back to life by Dispater as part of the eyelash fingernail clipping deal, including Elefus' pet Gargoyle. I forgot to mention it. And all the curses were undone if any, so Honda was back to being female, not transluscent, and Rubbio no longer had hair made out of worms.)

Twitch cowered in fear in a corner.

The Doctor offers to take the Party to Cardiff to meet Captain Jack, since Elefus seemed particularly interested in him. The Party refused, pointing to Twitch, saying "Last time any of us went into that blue box, they came back old, decripit, and died when they got out."

"Not to worry," said the Doctor, "I've already exacted retribution from Twitch, I don't need to do that again."

The Party still refused.

The Doctor went back into his box and disappeared. A minute later it reappears and out comes the Doctor with Captain Jack. Jack approached Elefus, and says "I hear you want to see me?", and winked.

"Not in that way.", said Elefus (earning him another negative five honor for acting on knowledge his character didn't have.) "In any case we need to discuss BlackMoor. Our BlackMoor isn't your Blackmoor." and pulls out his paper map of the kingdom and hands it to the Jack. Then asks, "What does this have to do with Murica, seeing as you're from there." (Another negative five honor points.) "Not only that, your country cracked an artifact and the world didn't go boom. Take us to Murica so we can rescue it! Who knows what other abuse the Muricans will inflict on it?"

"You'll have to go in that blue box over there." says Jack. "But the Doctor tells me you've already indicated an unwillingness to get inside."

Elefus responds, "Then we'll get there by normal means."

"Not a good idea." says Jack, "For one you don't have any passports because you don't officially exist. Secondly the powers that be wouldn't let you take those weapons along." Jack shrugs and hands the map of Blackmoor to the Doctor.

Elefus says, "What's a passport?" and continues, "But we need to protect it as we can't trust those Muricans. Besides, we HAVE to take it, we need it for our ceremony to free The Duchy of Ten from the Barbarians."

The Doctor looks up from the map and interrupts, "What? A ceremony? What ceremony? And why does it need the Liberty Bell?"

At this point the Party started explaining all the clues they have followed. How via myth and legend they were supposed to "Ring the Freedom Bells of Murica during some complicated ceremony to rid their land from the Barbarians. How it was like a scavenger hunt, for the ceremony, they need a Soldier who gets Strengh points by not fighting, they had to bring fleeing unarmed refugees (easily done given what the Barbarians had done to the Duchy), they had to get someone unlucky, someone abandoned and forsaken, a pair of lonesome-hearted lovers, then they had to burn an outcast at the stake, and assume weird naked positions..."

"Wait, wait, wait, you got it all wrong!" said the Doctor. "You don't need this artifact. You need my help." He continues, "You're from the future and you've been separated from this bell for so long you've got it mixed up with other legends, myths and songs. (Then he mumbled something to himself about The Chimes of Freedom.) Despite your misgivings you'll have to come with me. Otherwise you may do something NOW, or something you do will cause you to no longer exist." (Then he explained the classic paradox problem.) "We'll have to leave this bell alone."

After further coaxing and intimidation they all got in The Doctor's Tardis. The Doctor pulled another lever and when the noise stopped they emerged into a large dark room with a somewhat curly haired young man sitting on a wooden stool. He was wearing a decorated shirt of many colors, flared pants, holding a guitar and a harmonica.

"Bob!, dear boy." said the Doctor. "I finally need you to repay a favor. Can you bring your guitar?"

"Sure thing!" said the man (apparently called Bob), "Anything for you old pal. Mind if I have one more cup of coffee?"

"Sure we'll wait." said the Doctor. Then he turned and started explaining to Clara and Jack, "You see, they're experiencing the 'Eee plebnista' conundrum."

"norcom, forcom, perfectumum...?" asks Jack.

"Exactly." replied the Doctor.

Clara looked clueless.

"I'll explain later. By the way can you play the Tambourine?" asked the Doctor.

"Sure, Man!" said Clara, "I'm a girl from the North Country, you know."

Then The Doctor turns to the party and says, "Folks, I'll be taking you back to your own world and time. When we're done your Duchy will have been freed and and your Barbarians will go back to where they came from."

They all get back in the Tardis. Bob, the last one inside carrying his guitar asks, "You have external loudspeakers on this thing, right?"

"The loudest in the universe." said the Doctor, pulling down a lever. Then asking Jack, "Can you sing?"

"Gotta serve somebody." replied Jack cryptically.

Another whoosh and later Bob, The Doctor, Jack and Clara are setting up a band, including microphones and sound system wiring. He opens the Tardis door and the party sees now understands they're flying high over the Tenian countryside, they could see glimpses of several Tenian cities, including Starmorgan and Detroit.

"Don't worry about the noise," said The Doctor, "The Tardis will dampen it for our ears inside. Besides, it has internal baffles."

Then the band began to play. Bob with his Guitar and Harmonica, Clara played the Tambourine, while Captain Jack and The Doctor were in the back singing harmony. From outside is they could hear music being amplified. Down below as if in fast-motion they could see the Barbarians fleeing the cities and encampments heading back to the plains of the West.

"What just happened?" asked Elefus.

"The Barbarian males just grew some backbone", explained the Doctor.

Then knowledgeable Numrendir understood, remarking, "Remember when we were fighting the Barbarians, the tribes were all run by the females? The Barbarian men were participating in the invasion and occupation of the Duchy because all this was a honey-do." They'd rather be in their Yurts on the plains watching football. They finally decided enough was enough and went back home."

Job done, The Doctor asks, "So where and when do I drop you off?"

"By the Temple of the Frog, about eighteen months after we left. I had them building my monastery. They'll be done by then." said Huang, adding "Can you do that?"

"Already there." said the Doctor, and the Tardis was Positively on 4th Street by the Temple when they landed.

Just as he was leaving, Elefus turned around to thank Bob the musician for doing this tremendous service.

"Don't think twice, it's alright." said Bob, waving.

Then The Doctor closed the door and the Tardis, The Doctor, Bob, Captain Jack and Clara whooshed away one last time.

Huang, taking possession of his Monastery, claimed his land rights and renamed "Froggie Town" to "Catan" and also claimed most of the credit for eliminating the Barbarian threat. He also qualified for training to the next level and took some skill courses as well as paying for Rubbio's leveling up.






Count Elefus, Human Male Abbot
Sir Huang - Superior Master Monk of the Stone Tiger Order
Dame Honda - Human Datai Samurai
Numrendir - Human Ensorceler
Slade Wilson - Dwarven Professional (Left behind at the Temple of the Frog.)
Gargoyle - Elefus's sidekick.
Rubbio - Redeemed Thief
Curly - Crazy guy rescued from a maze in Dis.

Junkbot Jackson - Tracker/Adept
Gerry Castagere, Human Fingersmith, and ever loving devotee of Elefus
Fundisha - Half-Elf Swordsperson
Sir Weasel, Human Guild Soldier, Enchanter, & Champion (Stayed behind in Blackmoor).
Nine Pilgrim Henchmen of various levels. (Left back in Blackmoor with Weasel.)





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Tracy Johnson