Cheapass Games Releases President’s 2005 Tax Returns
Seattle, WA—April 1, 2017. Cheapass Games have come into possession of shocking and revelatory documents concerning their own president’s financial dealings as well as possible ties to domestic powers.
These documents are coming to light during what can only be described as a tumultuous and scandal-ridden period, James Ernest’s first 100 days of his twenty-second year as president of Cheapass Games.
Before linking to these documents, we want to let you know that what they contain is groundbreaking and shocking. And you are not going to see them anywhere else. Just here.
Take a long slow minute to think about that. Take another. That’s good. Breathe it in.
Linked here are the actual 2005 tax returns of James Ernest and family, then a jointly-owned sole proprietorship in Washington state. Using the pragmanym “John Miller,” James Ernest and his beautiful first wife Carol Monahan, according to these documents being made available for the first time today, have clearly paid no federal income taxes, a triumph which by today’s standards shows that he is a genius and is eminently qualified to be president, if only of a small tabletop game company in the Pacific Northwest.
Unreachable for comment, James Ernest nevertheless had this to say about these astounding revelations this morning, tweeting:
Although this 2005 tax return is absurdly out of date and tells us nothing of the current financial health of Cheapass Games, we hope it will nevertheless serve as a stirring reminder of the greatness of our president, and his willingness to abide by the letter of the law in order to suck hundreds of dollars in taxpayer money from the federal government.
About Cheapass Games
Cheapass Games is a small tabletop game company in the Pacific Northwest. They make small tabletop games and continue to abide by the letter of the tax code. James Ernest has been their unelected president since 1996, and vows one day to repeal and replace every game the company has ever published. So far he is 0 for 174.
PATHFINDER RPG: BOOK OF THE DAMNED EXPLORES THE WORKINGS OF THE POWERFUL FORCES OF EVIL
Now Available for Pre-Order, Book of the Damned Takes Players from the Darkest Depths of the Demon-Haunted Abyss, to the Apocalyptic Realm of Abaddon and the Infernal Layers of Hell Itself
REDMOND, WA (March 23, 2017): Paizo Inc., publisher of the award-winning Pathfinder Roleplaying Game and Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, announces today the forthcoming Pathfinder RPG: Book of the Damned hardcover rulebook will be released September 2017 and is now available for pre-order (MSRP $44.99).
The denizens of the evil planes of existence have long tempted, tormented, and tortured mortal life. From the lowliest imp to the mightiest demon lord, these realms are ripe with horrors and festering with threats to body, mind, and soul, and the routes to knowing these blasphemous secrets are held within the infamous pages of the Book of the Damned.
With details on demon lords and arch devils, information on the realms of Hell, Abaddon, and the Abyss, and rules for incorporating fiendish influences into the game—be they in the form of foes for heroic parties to face, or temptations for less scrupulous adventurers to consider—Pathfinder RPG: Book of the Damned explores the workings of these powerful forces of evil, focusing on the numerous demigods that influence mortal life and the countless fiends who prey upon the living and dead alike. Pathfinder RPG Book of the Damned includes:
“Book of the Damned fills my dark soul with devilish delight,” says Paizo Publisher and Chief Creative Officer Erik Mona. “Demons, devils, and darkness are always popular topics around the Pathfinder game table, and Book of the Damned arms players with tools to fight against (or alongside) these paragons of evil, adding a demoniacal twist to any Pathfinder campaign. Are your players taking a trip to Hell? Don’t Satanic Panic! Book of the Damned has all the infernal answers you’re looking for!”
Book of the Damned is a dark and beautiful new hardcover tome for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. For additional information, visit Paizo.
About Paizo Inc.
Paizo Inc. is publisher of the award-winning Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Tales novels, as well as board games and accessories. The Pathfinder world, in which players take on the role of brave adventurers fighting to survive in a world beset by magic and evil, is currently translated into eight languages, and has been licensed for comic book series, graphic novels, toys, and apparel. Paizo.com is also a leading online hobby retail store, offering tens of thousands of products from a variety of publishers to customers all over the world.
Cryptozoic Entertainment, leading creator of board games, trading cards, and collectibles, today announced that it will be attending Industry Summit, the annual trade conference for professionals in the trading cards and collectibles industries that will be held April 2-5 at the Flamingo Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas.
I have a game for you to play! It’s a brutalcore puzzler called Quest for the Crown 2.
You may feel like a real video game genius after beating the game for the first time, but stick around to the end of the credits! The “second quest” is harder, and don’t get me started on the “third quest!”
Yes, it’s an April First game! But like Google Ms. Pac Man, it’s kind of a real game, although a jokey one.
QFTC2 is an alpha web demo of a longer mobile game that I plan to release in a month or so.
By F. Wesley Schneider & James L. Sutter
Danger: I LUV a good urban adventure. This is a DELIGHTFUL adventure! It’s a little mystery/guard mission in an old ladies house and is about 20 times more Ravenloft than almost all of the Ravenloft adventures. The Swan Street Slicer has escaped! On the way to jail, the mute halfling’s jailwagon was in an accident and he’s escaped! The guard is frantic, as is the entire town! Extra guards are everywhere! The party (hired? Hastily deputized?) is given the task of guarding the house of an old lady, her family having been one of the last victims. This is a nice hook. Hysteria in the city is fun, and its a good pretext as to why the guardsmen aren’t doing the guarding. They ARE, but EVERYONE/PLACE needs guards. It’s all hands on deck! So the party is in the old ladies house, guarding it/her and her daughter. The NPC’s in this are wonderful. A bitter old woman in a wheelchair. Her lovely daughter, no longer engaged since her fiance was murdered by the slicer. A halfing butler who is best described as ‘simple.’ Strong NPC personalities to interact with. Then there are the people who come to visit, PERFECTLY described. “Nina’s dim-witted but good-natured nephew.” or “a greasy but ambitious banker” and so on. In one fucking sentence for each NPC this adventure does what so many others can’t seem to do: focus on the NPC description on interactivity. Who the fuck cares what your special snowflakes eye color is? What we need to know is how to play them when the party comes to interact. There’s a great little table included for the old woman and her daugher on how the parties interactions with them will impact their attitudes/diplomacy checks. And, even better, the table notes WHERE YOU CAN FIND THINGS! Giving the daughter some letters from her dead fiance will give you some positive modifier, but the table also tells you that they are in room six! Oh the humanity! A writer who actually makes things easier for the DM! The NPC’s, the house, what’s actually going on, the window dressing, t all contributes to a wonderfully creepy vibe. As time passes the party will do that thing that brings joy to the hearts of players and DM’s. They’ll say something like “Ohhh! It’s her! I know it’s her! Ohhh! I know it!” This sort of build up, starting out slightly irregular and building until the party snap in to action, is wonderful. “Telegraphed” isn’t quite the right word, but the mix of horror, with the … levity? Anticipation? From the players is great. The maps are way too small, and you’re going to STILL need a highlighter for the rooms. They are shorter than usual for Dungeon, but still need a bit of help. That rarest of beasts: A Dungeon Magazine adventure Worth Checking Out.
The Champion’s Belt
By Tito Leati
Another in the Age of Worms adventure path. I swear I’ve seen this adventure before … in Dark Sun form? You’re hired to participate in the cities gladiator games, a cover to investigate the tunnels below the arena. It’s the usual mess. Badly organized. Mountains and mountains of text spewed out all over the place that you have to wade through to get even the smallest semblance of how things are supposed to work. Anyway, four gladiator battles, some rooting around in the tunnels, hopefully the party finds and kills the stuff in the evil shrine before the final gladiator battle. If not, there’s a potential for thousands of wights to be turned loose on the city. THAT would be a cool thing to happen. It will be interesting to see if the next chapter of this adventure deals with that possibility. The adventure isn’t in and of itself, bad, but its very badly put together. It’s laid out in the usual encounter/key format but it’s NOT an encounter/key adventure, at least not most of it. It’s a social adventure with some investigation. You hang around. You meet people. You try and figure out how to get in to the secret tunnels, not be seen. Essentially, you want in to the Employee Only areas of the mall/football stadium, dodging employees, guards, etc. THEN you can explore and kill shit in the evil shrine. But its not laid out anyway near that to support it. Sure, you CAN run, if you dump a shit ton of work in to it. Even with the stupid fucking tactics-jerkoff-fest gladiator fights, this could have been a decent adventure, IS a decent adventure, if only you could pull the shit you need out of it in a way that makes sense for running the game. Most of the maps in this are small, and nigh unreadable, another stone against it.
The Fireplace Level
By Eric L. Boyd
The finale of the three-part Vampires in Waterdeep adventure arc. Thank God. “The fissure opened up over six decades ago, in the Year of Catacombs (1308 DR). It’s just large enough to permit passage by a size Medium or smaller creature.” This is the kind of joy you are in for. And then … “In the Year of Catacombs (1308 DR), a purple worm passed through the Wormwrithings Portal (F2A) and appeared here. The damage might have been far worse is the temporal stasis trap in the hallway had not caught the gigantic worm at the locations marked F2B. Rge Company of Crazed Venturers stumbled upon the purple worm in the Year of the Gate (1341 DR). Calling on connections that Company member Nain and Savengriff had with the Blackstaff Tower, the Company managed to have the worm removed, after they transformed it in to solid silver with the help of a magic item. Khelben later cast gate seal on the portal ‘for the security of the city’ before departing.” That is but one part of the massive text in one hallway that has some stone damage in it. How the fuck does that enrich the adventure for the players? Actually, I’d much rather be playing THAT adventure than this one. Turning a purple worm to silver, looting it, all to get access to the dungeon its carcass is blocking, sounds like fun. But that’s not THIS adventure. There’a merman vampire, with a ridiculous picture. I don’t see how this is runnable in any manner other than worst caricature ever of a bad D&D game/DM. Go from room to room and kill shit. Joy. Oh Eric, I’m glad you finally escaped to a new job at the university. I just wish it were more memorable.
Sometimes, what you need is a born hunter.
Ripley: “And you, you little shit-head… you’re staying here.”
Paizo Inc. and Ninja Division Publishing announces pre-painted miniatures for Starfinder RPG
Boise, ID (March 10, 2017) – Ninja Division Publishing LLC. and Paizo Inc. are proud to announce the Starfinder Miniatures collection – the first officially licensed miniatures for the epic campaigns and adventures that players, worldwide, will start experiencing with the launch of the Starfinder® RPG.
Set thousands of years in Pathfinder’s future, the Starfinder RPG is a stand-alone science fantasy game evolved from the Pathfinder RPG rules in which players take on the role of a ragtag starship crew exploring the countless mysteries of a weird galaxy. Starfinder is also designed to integrate easily with the Pathfinder RPG, allowing players of either game to port over monsters, items, and adventures with a minimal conversion effort.
Ninja Division is proud to announce a partnership with Paizo Inc. to bring fans of Starfinder an exciting range of pre-painted miniatures to accompany players on their Starfinder adventures. With painstaking detail and coloring, these pre-painted miniatures bring the heroic crews and explorers from Starfinder to life. The range of pre-painted miniatures will include both adventurers and the ships they use to traverse space, both scaled appropriately to use as gameplay pieces for their unique roles in the Starfinder game system.
Ninja Division Creative Director John Cadice comments: “Ninja Division has been working hard with Paizo to create a line of pre-painted miniatures for gamers. We are all fans of miniatures here, and lovers of Paizo’s fantastic RPG worlds. Starfinder has not disappointed in the richness of the races and designs we get to help bring to life for players.”
Paizo Inc., publisher of the award-winning Pathfinder Roleplaying Game and Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, announces today the initial product line-up for the highly anticipated Starfinder Roleplaying Game, the new science fantasy RPG set in the world of Pathfinder, ready for blast-off at Gen Con Indy August 2017.
Starfinder Creative Director James L. Sutter says: “The sculpts that Ninja Division have been creating for both characters and starships have been blowing our minds with their artistry and obvious love of the genre. I’m especially excited about the ships-I can’t wait to see the looks on my players’ faces the first time I pull out a bunch of the starship miniatures for a space battle!”
About Ninja Division Publishing™, LLC
Ninja Division Publishing™, LLC produces and publishes high quality board games, card games, and beautiful hobby model miniatures for tabletops around the world. Ninja Division’s tabletop lineup includes beloved originals such as the ground-breaking, dungeon-dashing Super Dungeon®: Explore; the charming chibi-ninja battle game, Ninja All-Stars®; the immersive and ever-expanding space war of Relic Knights®; and the forthcoming interstellar railway hold-up and heist, Rail Raiders Infinite™. Ninja Division also publishes an array of licensed games including favorites such as My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria™, Alien v Predator™, Codinca™, DrunkQuest™, and the award winning family game, Luchador!™. With legions of fans around the world, Ninja Division supports league play and encourages both collaborative and competitive play in its community of gamers of all ages!
About Paizo Inc.
Paizo Inc. is publisher of the award-winning Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Tales novels, as well as board games and accessories. The Pathfinder world, in which players take on the role of brave adventurers fighting to survive in a world beset by magic and evil, is currently translated into eight languages, and has been licensed for comic book series, graphic novels, toys, and apparel, and is being developed into an MMORPG. Paizo.com is also a leading online hobby retail store, offering tens of thousands of products from a variety of publishers to customers all over the world.